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A psychiatrist… what a life that would have been for Elizabeth Hamilton. Only if she hadn’t lost it, hadn’t taken that knife and dragged it across her wrists, or pulled that gun out. Eliza… that’s what people used to call her, or was it Beth… she could not remember. Had she used the knife, the gun, or had she hung herself over the kitchen table for her children to see? Why couldn’t she remember, the blood, her boyfriend? Her boyfriend… what was his name? David J. Hudson…
Her eyes fluttered open to see a place, a room, that took the very breathe from her lungs. Or at least that’s how it felt. It was like heaven, but hell would describe it more likely. Elizabeth could not move however much she tried when she heard foot steps nearing the large but disquieting room. ‘I’m not afraid’ she thought miserably. There was a knock on the door and Elizabeth nearly screamed but held it back. She started moving but could have sworn that her muscles weren’t working with her. The knock came again… then…
“Eliza, what’s wrong?” Came a voice that she could not mistake as David’s. Was it all a dream?
“I’m here… nothing.” Was this real? There was a thump. ‘His having another seizer, I guess it is real after all’ she thought as she raced toward the door. There was a dresser in front of the door but she had no recollection of how it got there in the first place.
Tears streamed down her face as she struggled to push the mahogany dresser away from the door. She couldn’t help but to cry, she loved her boyfriend so much… they were planning on getting married after he divorced his wife. They had been dating for three years.
Eliza finally got the dresser out of the way when the door creaked open on its own accord. A man was stand in the hallway, his black eyes piercing her blue eyes. He was dressed in a flannel shirt, blue jeans, and biker boots. His red hair was like a forest fire without the green.
David was nowhere to be found, maybe this was an illusion. She started looking around beyond the man and his lonely stare. Unable to look around the strange house any longer she looked at the man. Only then did he walk toward her did she see the blood on his shirt and dripping from his mouth. The coldness of his eyes paralyzed her.
“I need your blood, mortal.” He claimed as he took a step forward. His voice was the exact same as David’s, or was he David? He couldn’t be because is six something and has an army style haircut.
“This is just a dream, you’re not real!!!” Eliza screamed frantically. She took a step back and tripped over something lying on the floor. When she looked it made her eyes go wide and her mouth part in a scream but nothing came out. It was David! His neck nearly all gone and blood everywhere. There was even blood smeared all over her overalls and grey shirt. She looked over head to see the red haired man advancing on her, blood mixed with saliva oozing out of his mouth.
“I want you!!” He cried as he ran. With tears running down her face, Eliza made a half-hearted attempt to get out of the only window in the room. It was bared in…
- by writrrr-grrl |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 07/15/2008 |
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- Title: The Mistake
- Artist: writrrr-grrl
- Description:
- Date: 07/15/2008
- Tags: psychiatrist
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Comments (2 Comments)
- iluvpolkadots - 07/16/2008
- I like it but I really think you should work on character development...I dont mind reading alot, and most people dont. I like the ending, though again, if you play out the character and location more....it would have been better.
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- x_Cursed_x - 07/16/2008
- Interesting, but it was so short that the reader doesn't have time to learn about the characters, so in the end they have no empathy at all for anyone in the story. It also seems kinda... pointless; the reader gets nothing out of the story and is left feeling empty and unsatisfied. It's not terrible; I actually like it, but the idea needs more developement.
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