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Ray Mcleary was a happy fellow. He worked at the local 11/07 as a cashier, and he was busy enjoying himself. His manager was about to leave him for the night, and Ray had plans. Master plans. For the first hour of his night shift he was going to pull out his stash of army men. Then he would play hopscotch with his bobble head pals. And play the kazoo. Ray loved playing the kazoo.
Manager: Now Ray, this is your first night alone. Don’t screw this up, alright?
Ray nodded faithfully and shifted his hidden sack of ninja stars and army men. Just leave the store, you rancid sack of…. Ray thought. Aloud.
Manager: What was that?
Ray: Uh, nothing. I actually said that I like pizza.
The manager looks at Ray for a moment, then nods.
Manager: Well I like pizza too. Good night Ray.
Ray watched as his manager left the store, fumbling with his keys for a minute. He watched as his manager scratched private places and picked his nose. Then he got into his car and drove away. Ray waited a moment, listening to silence. Suddenly, the door opened, beeped, then closed. Ray looked around and saw noone.
Ray: Is anyone there?
Nothing…
Ray heaved a sigh of relief. And pulled out his army man.
Ray: YES!!!!
Ray: Presenting sergeant Hopkins! Sergeant Hopkins!
Sergeant Hopkins: Drink from the Slushee machine!! Drink it!!
Ray looked at Sergeant Hopkins for a moment, then blinked. He had imagined Sergeant Hopkins’ voice a little different. And of course, it confused him that his army man was talking. That was the kicker, actually.
Ray: Now now, Mister Hopkins, you know that I am not allowed to drink from the Slushee machine.. even though it is juicy and d..d..delicious…
Ray looked over at the Slushee machine in question, and his mouth drooled.
Ray: NO! I cant mister Hopkins!! Why do you tempt me so!
He shook Sergeant Hopkins.
Hopkins: Drink from the deliciousness! Do it! Do it now, while nobody is looking!
Ray: B-but…
Hopkins: Don’t worry! I wont tell a soul!
Ray looked around, his resolve shattering.
Ray: Promise?
Hopkins: Yes, I promise, I will not tell a soul!
Ray looked at the Slushee machine, his mouth watering. His lust to open his mouth and envelop the creamy goodness which is Slushee was becoming unbearable.
Ray: Hopkins! Stand guard! I am going in!
Hopkins: Yes Sir!
Ray walked over to the Slushee machine and put his mouth under it. Oh yes, he was going to enjoy this! He pulled the lever which released the Slushee into his mouth, and closed his eyes as it poured into his waiting mouth. Ohhhhh yesssss!!! I knew the red flavor was the best!! The yummy Slushee poured all over him, and began to drip on the ground. Ray slurped and slurped the Slushee greedily until he was full.
Ray: Mmmmm… That was good…
Ray wiped his Slushee covered mouth off.
Ray: Sergeant Hopkins, that was the greatest feat you’ve ever…
Ray’s mouth gaped as he looked around the store. Everything was gone. The beef jerky sticks. The chips. the dip. THE DIP!!! All the pop. The bobble heads. And worst of all, Sergeant Hopkins was gone too.
Ray: Sergeant Hopkins! You’ve betrayed me!! NOOOO!!!!
Ray, in tears, leaves the store, feeling betrayed and backstabbed by his best friend. Framed he was, framed by an army man. That is what he would tell the police. An army man stole everything in the store. Yes. They would definitely believe him over the army man. He, after all, was an upstanding member of society. Sergeant Hopkins was a dirty turncoat… oh but Ray would get his sweet revenge.
Ray then realized that he was probably fired. But he knew that once he caught Sergeant Hopkins and proved his total innocence, he would be rehired. With a pay increase. Yes, that would be awesome.
- Title: Sergeant Hopkins Strikes!!!
- Artist: Aericks
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Description:
Ray McLeary is a simple minded worker at an 11/07 convenience store. He has an army of... army men. A story of lies and deceit!!! See inside!
-Penguin and a Hobo Productions, Part II - Date: 07/18/2008
- Tags: penguin hobo ninja army sergeant
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Comments (3 Comments)
- RamshackleTagAlong - 07/19/2008
- It was amusing and there were only minimal (if repetetive) grammatical errors. Not sure if it's a world-altering piece of literature, but it kept me entertained for a few minutes. Nice.
- Report As Spam
- Aericks - 07/18/2008
- Obviously you are far too slow to understand a very understandable plot. You lose!!
- Report As Spam
- Insaneman8 - 07/18/2008
- how old is ray? his maturity seems somewhat small and really the plot made no sense, sorry
- Report As Spam