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The children of the City of Rain have a story, this one of a spirit, a ghost of a woman.
The woman's spirit is called La Llorona, the Weeping Woman.
She was once a pretty young woman who lived in the Barrio of the City.
She was happily married to a man she thought would never leave her.
She had seven children, seven lovely little children....
Then her husband grew tired of his young wife and children.
He left his wife for a younger, prettier, woman.
In a fit of greif the young woman drowned her children in the bath tub.
One, by one, by one.
Imagine perhapses, you where the last child, you had heard the screams and splashes of the your six brothers and sisters, horrified for the time your mother comes for you...
Soon the dark deed was done, and the woman went to her husband, her white dress and her hands stained with the blood of their children.
She attacked him, blaming him for all that had gone wrong.
He simply stabbed her.
Once.
Twice.
Three times
And the young lady was no more.
Or so her husband thought
That was wrong.
In the night the husband heard weeping, crying.
Then he screamed.
The woman he had left his wife for would find him in the morning, drowned in his own bed.
Thus was born La Llorona, cursed forever to search for her children.
- Title: La Llorona
- Artist: K0B0LD
- Description: An Urban Legend from the City of Rain
- Date: 08/08/2008
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Comments (7 Comments)
- Acrid Fpoon - 08/13/2008
- D; K0BOLD your writing scares me.
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- hygiei - 08/13/2008
- so sad.. i love it tho.
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- Miss Fro - 08/12/2008
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There are some spelling errors (grief in line cool
The format seems off. The pacing feels too rushed. The "you imagine" lines are out of place. Don't tell the reader to imagine, make them see it.
How does one become stained with blood when they're drowning people? Explain it with details. That threw me off immediately.
Nice idea but it's still needs some revisions. With more polishing, it'll be less amateurish. - Report As Spam
- e t h e r e a l - j a d e - 08/10/2008
- It's short, but sweet, and leaves a strong impression. Beautiful job.
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- Malier - 08/10/2008
- God, it's vunderbar.
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- Freya Caelum - 08/10/2008
- Dark... morbid... but beautiful in its own way. Very wonderful work. <3
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