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Racing to the place i know i'll be safe. there the waterfall. Quickly I take off my socks and shoes and roll up my skirt and I sink my feet in the waterfall's little creek. for a moment I sit there and listen to the waterfall's roar. then i feel a tug on my leg. I open my eyes and see a hand yanking at my leg. then all of a sudden the hand moved away. suddenly i hear a loud "boo!" comming out of the water. I sheiked and almost fliped right over the rock. but before I could hit the grass i could feel a moist hand gently pulling my legs to make sure i dont fall. right then i could see the face, a soft gentle face smiling at me.then i realized that i had my skirt up. then the person or creature began to say some thing but before i gave it a chance i got up pulled my skirt down and left.
the next morning i walked over the the waterfall to look for my socks and shoes. as i crept up, i could hear something swishing in the water. "swish, swish" then i found my shoes. so i picked them up and started to walk away.then all of the sudden i heard someone say "hey I've seen you before!"
I turned slowly around and saw the face i saw the day before."ok i can do this." i said to myself. so i walked slowly to the figure and said "so, whqat are you?" the figure laughed and said "well I'm a merman."
- by Xxartificial_loverxX |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 09/12/2008 |
- Skip
- Title: no title
- Artist: Xxartificial_loverxX
- Description: well this the first chapter in this little story. uhh this is like my first actuall story so please go easy on me. anyways hope u like it and please leave comments! o and exuse my spelling.
- Date: 09/12/2008
- Tags: title
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Comments (7 Comments)
- b00_2 - 05/10/2009
- The word "and" was in here more times then neccesary. If you find a better way to make your sentences flow, it will be much better.
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- Lindsey B3 - 03/13/2009
- nice very nice write more.
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- butterflyboo16 - 09/15/2008
- that is really good for your first time but you know what is funny you put so whqat are you? lol its OK
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- cutepie_cutepie16 - 09/12/2008
- it'll be better if u add an introduction,wat the girl and merman looked like, and check ur spelling and punctuation. Overall, good story.
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- Blue Overlord - 09/12/2008
- Not bad. 3/5
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- xXx_Jessi_Arilia_xXx - 09/12/2008
- I like it, but i would have liked it better if it had more detail. and if it had an introduction. cause i was kinda lost. i didnt know why she was going to the waterfall, and i didnt know what she looked like or what the merman looked like
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- Clevergirl14 - 09/12/2008
- good use of words only one error i really enjoyed reading it smile
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