• Winter Sonata
    By Dizzy Kiske (a.k.a. "Izzy" in the school newspaper)



    I stared into the framed window as snow calmly fell on the transparent glass. So much snow filled the ground. Footprints were wiped away, and all the objects present were blanketed with a thick yet fluffy overcoat of winter snowfall. Honestly, I couldn’t get myself to stop staring at the glittering scene before me. Although the clouds had appeared gloomy and gray, my mood deep down was the complete opposite: warm and peaceful. For sure, I’d be stranded in my classroom until the snow stopped and the frosty roads were cleared from the winter debris. It was 4:34 p.m. and still the snow fell until it gradually got harder. I sat at my lonely desk in the very corner of the room. The only thing that kept me company during the long and mind-numbing lectures was the window that I constantly stared at. Every time I gaze upon the glossy window, memories from my childhood or memories from a few weeks ago clouded my head. What a better time to start reminiscing than now? I certainly cannot find a perfect opportunity to think about what I’ve accomplished in my life so far. I’ve never been much of a success. I don’t think I can really call my life an accomplishment. However, one moment in time did tell me that I wasn’t useless. A winter storm this calm always reminds me of that one instant that I actually felt like someone I haven’t met in while. . . actually cared about me. . .



    December 18, 2005 - Osaka, Japan

    The snow fell softly as cars and other vehicles plowed hard through the thickening snow. I briskly walked towards my destination. I knew that I’d probably freeze to death by the time I finished reading my book, but the park has always been my favorite spot to read a story after a stressing day in school. My feet led me towards my favorite cherry blossom tree that was now naked and occupied by lumps of snow that rested on its reaching arms. I slumped my weary body against the tree as I opened my book to the page that I recently dog-eared. My eyes scanned through the lines of printed words. I was already half-done with my book, and only a few more pages were ahead until I could finally claim a success. However, after roughly ten minutes of reading, my fatigue had caused my eyes to close halfway. Homework had gotten the best of me from the past few weeks. I tried to keep myself awake, but I started to feel light-headed. A few yawns managed to escape my mouth before I hung my head low and drifted off to sleep.

    Finally I awoke from my deep sleep, but as I scratched my eyes open, I found myself staring into nothing but darkness. Only a few blinking city lights were visible to my eyes. I panicked. Immediately, I stood up without acknowledging the whereabouts of my book, and I ran helplessly through the dark infinity. I ran until I tripped on something hard. My body hit the ice cold floor as a sharp pain irritated my ankle. I felt like crying. No doubt that tears almost streamed down my face.

    “Are you okay?” spoke a voice calling to me. I tried to look up, but I didn’t want that stranger to see me in my state of complete weakness. The voice wasn’t an old man’s voice though. It sounded much younger, probably a boy no older than me. I held a hand over my ankle, yet I kept my face hidden from him. I waited for him to leave me alone. Instead, he reached out his hand towards me. My eyes widened as I finally raised my eyes to look at his. It was too dark outside for me to identify him. I stood up hesitatingly.

    “Who are you?” I said as I swallowed hard.

    “I’m… I’m just here to help you. The park closed a while ago, but I came to check if anyone was still in here,” he replied. He made no movement. All he did was stand right in front of me. It felt somewhat embarrassing to be watched over someone like him. I always wanted to be independent.

    “Well I’m leaving,” I tried to run, but he grabbed my arm. I looked back at him with a mixed feeling of anger and fear.

    “It’s too dark out here. I’m going to leave to, but I think that it would be best if we went back to town together. There’re usually wild animals out here,” he said with calm assurance.

    “I don’t need anyone with me, and I especially don’t need you,” I said yelling at the top of my lungs. Who did he think I was? I wasn’t that helpless. I wanted to go home by myself. “Go away.” I marched down the icy pathway with both my hands curled up into fists. My feet stomped upon hard snow as the cold air blew against my cheeks. I walked onward with my head hung low while negative thoughts flew furiously into my brain. I was wrong . . . so wrong . . . The lights of the town were no longer visible to me. The moon lit my way, but the pathway branched off into so many more pathways. I turned around to run back to the boy. To my surprise, he was following me the whole time.

    “I knew you’d get lost,” he said coolly. I was so irritated by him . . . at the same time I wanted him near me. I had no idea what to feel. He knew that I wouldn’t find my way out, but he still followed me despite my yelling.

    “If you knew, then why didn’t you say anything!?!” I shouted as my voice showed clear agitation.

    “Because . . . I knew you wouldn’t listen to me,” he said giving me a long stare with his hazel eyes. I burst into tears. I hated him so much, yet I wanted him near me. I wish he never existed, but at the same time, I’m grateful that he actually cared about my safety.

    “I’m so hopeless…” I whispered falling unto my knees. My hands buried my tear-soaked face. I felt so shameful. Here he was trying to help me, and all I did was reject him.

    “I don’t think you’re hopeless,” he said softly as he kneeled to my height. I stared right back at him. “Not everyone’s perfect . . . and not everyone can stand on his own.” His words were music to my sorrowful heart. He helped me back up after my weeping ceased.

    “Why . . . Why do you even care about a stranger?” I said as my voice shook.

    “Could you really call me a stranger? I’ve met you several times before, Ayu,” he answered smiling warmly at me.

    “You . . . You know my name?” I said. The way he said my voice caused my heart to skip a beat. Why does he suddenly seem so familiar now? “I don’t know yours.”

    “You don’t need to. It’s not that important. What’s important is that we have to get home before it gets too dark.”

    “Do I know you?” I said as I laid a hand on his arm. “Are you in my school? Class?” I asked as I waked behind him.

    “We just need to make a turn here,” he answered completely changing the topic. I shut my mouth. Was he doing this on purpose? Did he hear me? I’m not too sure. After a few moments, we finally reached the park entrance. I could see the luminous lights and logos in the town. My eyes lit up. I was so excited. I turned to the boy who led me out of my distress.

    “Thank you,” I said to him with obvious joy. He just nodded and walked away. I ran after him and grabbed his arm. “Wait! What is your name? Will I see you again?”

    “I’m pretty sure you will,” was his reply. He just smiled and walked away. I watched longingly until I could no longer see him.



    ---



    There was never a day when I didn’t return to the park and wait for him. My eyes gazed into the window with eyes staring straight into the snowy horizon. I hoped that that memory wasn’t a dream. I prayed long and hard for the day that I would see that boy again.

    Next to me, one of my classmates took a book from under his desk. He opened his book to a page that was dog-eared.

    “Hey Kazune-kun!” called one of his friends. Three more boys came running up to him. “The snow is so deep! Let’s throw snowballs at people!”

    “No thanks. . . I’m going to stay here,” replied Kazune. He reverted his eyes to the book. I turned my head to face him, and I looked at the book he was reading. It was the same one that I lost in the park two years ago. I never bought a new one because too much homework crowded my schedule. But there he was reading the same book I left.

    “Why are you reading that book? Where’d you even get it?” said one of his friends.

    “This book? I found it a long time ago. It’s interesting to read. This is the 20th time I’ve read it,” Kazune replied smiling back to his classmates. “I was waiting for the owner to get it. But she never came. She probably forgot, so I kept it.”

    Now I know. The person whose existence I never bothered to acknowledge, the voice I tended to ignored, the very figure that I tried hard to take no notice of was the one that I’ve been looking for all along.






    ** Ayu is pronounced as “Ah-yoo”
    Kazune is pronouced as “Kah-zoo-nay”