-
The black ink scrawled across the page, bursting forth from the pen in a well written formation, Gabriel had almost finished his post-graduate evaluation of his hard work at the prestigious university. Many of the teachers were amazed at just how hard-working this hard-up orphan had been in his time at the university, paid for by the money from his late adoptive parents’ estate, he had been one of the youngest to ever to have passed the entrance exam for his three diplomas, chemistry, biology and medicine, when he was only fifteen.
Now, at seventeen, he was again, one of the youngest to have graduated, he took pride in his streak of brilliance and ability for learning and applying medical, chemical and biological work...
The seconds ticked by, melting into minutes, hours, so, after four hours of quiet working, the only sound scratching pen and creaking chair, the occasional call of a bird or two outside his window, jolting him from his concentration for a moment...
Gabriel pushed back from the table, examining his work with a sigh of contentment at another paper well done, his post-graduate essay, all seventeen pages, revised, completed.
Gabriel smiled, at the sight of his masterpiece, he stapled up the left side, sliding it into a hardy brown envelope writing the address of his handler at the university, taking it in his arms as he stood up and turned to the door, but he faltered in his steps, as he noticed he had forgotten a small ritual he usually performed twice a week, taking a small cup of water from the sink, and poured it into his Aloe Vera plant, its soil moist and tendrils emerald with thanks for his great care.
With all affairs dealt with, Gabriel picked up his phone, wallet and keys, still holding his precious paper in his arms, walked out of the secure wooden door, tap, tap, tapping his shoes down the three flights of stairs, breaking through the blue painted front door, into the crisp, chilled air, to walk into the bleak world, with its grey sky, black asphalt path and road, dark cars rushing past, frozen people jostling past, eyes on the pavement, minding their own affairs, sights on varying goals, Gabriel, however, had his eyes on the sky, smiling at the funny patterns the myriad of intertwining clouds made...
As the post office came into view, Gabriel's pace inexplicably quickened, his shoes, tap, tap, tap, tempo speeding up until he stopped to open the windowed door, pulling the handle heavily to drag the weight of all the glass to the side. After a small wait, listening to the pleasant music in the background, Gabriel walked to one of the service counters, and after a quick discussion, the package exchanged hands, as did a little money, and, as Gabriel walked away from the post office, he wondered what he was going to do for the rest of the day, as all his work was done.
Gabriel paced down the asphalt sidewalk for a couple of minutes, a crisp wind occasionally making him shiver a little, he stopped at the feel of a cool raindrop on his neck, a light drizzle began to fall, a few people around him put up hoods and umbrellas, others just carried on walking, the spitting rain not warranting a reaction. it was starting to get dark, and as he walked, Gabriel noticed a couple of early streetlights coming on, their dull orange glow being cast down...
- Title: Homework; Grey day
- Artist: olza
- Description: a little clip of a story, for my creative writing h/w.
- Date: 01/20/2009
- Tags: creative writing peice
- Report Post
Comments (3 Comments)
- cloudyrainbowz - 01/24/2009
- yeah, i was bit confused too. I dont really get the whole consept of the second pararaph...
- Report As Spam
- mOiRla-ExTrA cRaXxY - 01/22/2009
- i dont understand.. im confused..
- Report As Spam
- Holly Brickyard - 01/21/2009
- Run on sentences. It was hard to focus on what was happening because there was too much going on in each sentence. The idea was perhaps a little unrealistic - three degrees in two years, when it generally takes four to complete one bachelor's degree? - but I'm interested in the character, as he must be some sort of genius. You just need to work on sentence structure. Break them down into fewer thoughts, they'll flow better and be easier to understand.
- Report As Spam