the Twilight of Renesmees Eye

• Artist: cutieie1234
• Description: This is a story about Renesmee, Bella and Edward Cullen's kid, from the book/movie Twilight.
  
  Thank you.
• Date: 02/14/2009
• Tags: twilight renesmees

biggrin Breaking Dawn, the after book.
by:Megan Hoffman
Inspiration by:Stephenie Meyer heart

I woke up to the sound of birds, chirping.
The air was damp. Cold wind Blew threw the
window. i new that that day, something was
gonna happen. i just didn't know what. My
mom came in with a glass of chicken blood
Being half vampierI smelt it and went up
to my mother. She came to me in her
hunting cloth. Odd, Iknow... but what ever
she wheres hunting always gets ripped, so
she wheres that.
" Hi mommy" I said, looking at the glass
"Hi Nessy" my mother said, as she
handed me the glass."how was that little, 3
hour nap?" she asked.
"Good, mommy." s drank the whole glass.
"where is daddy?"
"I don't know... why dont you go ask Aunt
Rosily."
"ok" I ran out the cottage, threw the woods
and with in seconds, I was there.
" Oh there you are daddy!" i hugged him
" Good morning Nessy"
" Where is Jacob?"
"He left to get some food for himself.
" How come he dose that dad?"
" He eats because he is not like us.
He is a.... well lets say a dog."
" Oh, I get it."
Mother walked in, carrying a change of
cloths cloths for me.
"i think you wanna get out of your
p-j's. Nessy"
" thanks mommy"
Mother went over and kisses dad.


arrow to see more... i need to see 10 votes and two pages of comments... from more than three of 4 of the same people.......... thanks for reading!

Comments

[BloodMoon ShadowStar]

Yeah srry but stephenie meyer had a few things that u kinda changed...but nice storyline. but other than that u could take a bit of time to improve just a tiny bit....I hope this helps.....

[Drunken Aunt Coral]

(continuing) Maybe you should keep it as a hobby to better yourself. Dont take it in a hard way. Use what every one says as a way of bettering yourself. Constructive critiquing.
I do hope this works out for you.
Best of luck to you dear. smile

[Drunken Aunt Coral]

I think it wasn't all that great. It was a good Idea of what could be written but the Twilight series should most definately stay to Stephonie Meyer. Oh, and if any of you have a problem with what I am saying, I have liturature on here. If you want to be pathetic and say I can't write, I would much rather you read my works, then, and only then, you can critique what I am saying.

Anyway hun, it was a nice try and maybe try and come up with something original? If that doesn't work out then ma

[wolfgirl1012]

I have to agree, it's is a nice story line, but not in the right way.

[xXRainbow_PixieXx]

Yeah I'm kind of in agreement....why don't you leave the writing to Stephanie Meyer? 1/5

[lilylover1996]

i didn't like it. bella would never call her nessy, she even says it in the book, and jacob wouldn't have to leve to get food because esme would buy him food.

[marshall11]

oh yeah sry to say but what the other person says you most probobly cant beat stephany sry sad