deamons

• Artist: Alicetherandom
• Description: a clasic messed up romance between two unlike lovers
• Date: 06/16/2009
• Tags: deamons

i look around me and all i see is distruction.
the dead body of my one true love fallen at my feet.
i cant stop the tears from streaming down my face.
a tear falls from my chin and falls in alex's open mouth as he lyes there dead.
he coughs.
"you're alive?!?!?!?!?!"
"barley"
i help him stand up
"Where are the deamons?"
"dead or dying."
"how on earth could a tiny mortal have killed onehundred deamons when a super himan vampire freak couldnt?"
"an adrenolin rush?"

Comments

[Spellbound Blasphemy]

Writing critic time.
It's an interesting concept, I'll give you that much. But... the grammar and punctuation are terrible. Honestly. And, I'd like to see you elaborate during the section of speech. How are they talking? What's the tone? What's going on around them? The world doesn't cease when the conversations starts up.

[hhiiraettuhs]

You need to put some capitals in all the sentences and you spelled demons wrong...

[Eve-ojosama]

No offense or anything, but I think you spelt demons wrong.