• I don't know what this damn awful feeling in the gut of my stomach is. It feels like I've eaten too much sugar, but I don't feel lethargic, and I haven't eaten today at all. Jordan tried to feed me some bacon when I woke up, but I told her I wasn't hungry. This scares me, because I've never lied to my sister that casually before. Either way, I got out the door and walked through the morning towards school. It's only a ten-minute walk. But, when I got to the school, and noticed the absence of cars and students, I remembered it was Saturday. That's when this damn feeling hit me in my groin. I didn't think about going home, so I just started walking to Venus' house. Her mom and I have an open-door policy - I can just walk into her house so long as I don't ******** her daughters. But, I've done very little to hold up my end. Venus and Helen, identical twins, were irresistible. I had a distinct count on each of them, beacuse they didn't look alike, even though they're identical twins. Venus was always home, and Helen liked to roam, so Venus had a higher score. I reached their house, with its immaculately cut yard, and opened the front door, and walked in.
    "Sam?" Venus called from somewhere upstairs. I answered her as I checked the garage for her mother's car. Thankfully, the garage was empty.
    "Venus."
    I heard water start to run from upstairs, from the bathroom the twins shared. My heart started to race and my face flushed.
    Venus called from upstairs again. "I'm just getting in the shower. Come join me."
    My body temperature rose and the damn feeling in my gut melded with the heat. I found the carpeted staircase and began to climb it, with one hand on the railing. Just as I thought, the upstairs bathroom was closed, but light and sound came through it. I turned the bathrooms doorknob, and pushed the door open, and my heartbeat increased as Venus' naked frame hugged me into the bathroom. The water from the shower was loud and covered up the sounds of Venus undressing me.

    -
    The next thing I knew, Venus' mother opened the bathroom door, and screamed when she saw us both naked and wet. I grabbed my clothes from the bathroom floor and flew down the stairs. I ran to the front door, and shifted the clothes in my arm so I could open it fast. One of my shoes dropped from my arm, but I could hear Venus' mom trampling down the stairs, so I left it and ran out the door. I was barely to the driveway when I heard the front door slam behind me and lock me out, forever. I ran across the street, naked and clutching my jeans, socks, my favourite tee shirt, and a left shoe. I turned back towards Venus' house in time to see the front blinds slam shut. The damn feeling in my gut grew, and I buckled my legs under me and sat on the curb and began to cry.
    I had just started to sob when a blue sedan pulled up right infront of me. I felt the bass from the car's stereo turn down, and looked up to see the car's passenger window roll down above my head. I pulled my pants on and covered the rest of myself with the pile of clothes in my arm, and stood up. The boy behind the wheel looked me up and down, started to smile, but then saw I had been crying. He asked,
    "What's wrong?"
    I gave him a wary glance and he quickly added,
    "I'm David. Remember ? We met at Dorian's party a few weeks ago. I'm the guy who manages the studio on Second street. Remember?"
    I nodded that, yes, I did remember. He smiled, and leaned over and opened the passenger door.
    "Get in, I'll take you home."
    I looked up and down the street for no reason, and climbed in, keeping my shirt covering as much of me as it could. I told him that I didn't want to go home. I asked if he could take me to Oak Avenue, to a friend's. I didn't mention I didn't know anyone who lived on Oak, and I didn't feel the need to explain I actually lived on that street. He said he knew where Oak Avenue was, and that he'd take me. I thanked him as I rolled up the window. I made a motion to start getting dressed, but this stopped when I realized he was watching me. I glanced at him, and he blushed and started the car. As he drove away from the curb, he asked what my name was, as he couldn't remember it.
    "Samantha," I told him. I reached behind my back and fastened my bra. I turned toward the backseat so I could hook the right fastener, and saw a yellow rope in the back. I sat down again, and asked what the rope was for. He answered it was for the props the studio used onstage. That particular rope, he added, hoists up a fake sun in an upcoming children's play his company was doing. I looked at him, and couldn't recall something. I asked him again,
    "Isn't your name, like, Barry, or something?"
    "Nope," he said, "definitely David."
    I nodded, and pulled my shirt on as I looked out the window. The damn feeling in my gut was getting worse, and I cringed. Suddenly, I noticed Oak Avenue pass outside my window.
    I turned to tell him he missed his turn, when his fist hit me right above my cheek, and I blacked out.

    -
    I can feel his breath on the back of my neck. It is warm.
    -

    When I got back home, my parents weren't there.I pulled my keys out of my pocket, and winced as the denim rubbed against the raw rope burn on my wrist. It burned again when I pulled my hand out of my pocket. I placed the key into the lock, and shakily turned the key until the door clicked. I quietly walked in to my home, and shut the door softly behind me. I walked to the bathroom, and turned on the light. It was dark outside. I looked at my face in the mirror. My eyes were puffy, and my cheek and neck bruises were already turning funny colours. Tear stains ran down my cheek, and down my neck. Dirt from the forest floor had turned my tone a shade darker, except for the thin streak that ran from my eyes downward.
    My bare feet were raw from walking home, and I had a strange taste in my mouth. My crotch was probably swollen, because it felt numb, but stung whenever I moved my legs.
    And this damn feeling is still here.I can feel my stomach melt inside itself, and I can feel blood run down my thigh, an endless gush of virginity lost.But the damn feeling, so hot but indescribable, so sick but painful, feels eternal. The phone I left on my dresser has messages from Venus that range from apologetic to distressed to worried. One I received around one o'clock asked why I was in Terry's car infront of her house. Now it seems the only thing I can do about this God damn feeling that swims inside me is to curl up here in my bed and stare at my dark room and hope to God that this was all a ******** dream. And, if it is, I'll never sleep again.