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I slamed my door shut. I slid down on my knees. Tears came poor down my face like a waterfall. "Why? Why? I loved him, he said he loved me!" I mumbled to myself over and over again. He broke my heart. -I can never take getting my heart broken again- I thought. I heard a gentle knock on my door. "Honey? Maryrose? What happen?" I heard my dad say softly. At times like this I would always wished that my mom would walk in and make everything better, my dad is far from helpful when it comes to things like love. "Dad it's nothing" I said quietly. I heard my dad sigh. I listened as I heard my dad's footstep slowly walk down the staris. I heard my cell phone go off. I stared at it laying on my bed waiting for me to answer it. I got up and checked to see who was calling. It said Jessie. I answered it. "Oh my god!??! Mar? Are you okay? Do we have to break Mike's neck?" I heard my best friend Matt say. I could hear my other friend Jessie in the background yelling at Matt to give her the phone. "Do you guys think you can come over?" I said trying to hold back the tears. I heard alot of differnet noises and yelling. "We'll be there as fast as we can" I heard my friend Jessie say. "Mkay bye" I said. I hung up and threw my phone on my bed. I walked out of my room and yelled down the stairs "Dad Matt and Jessie are coming over!". I heard my dad mumbling to himself. "I'll take that as a okay" I said and walked back into my room. I ploped face frist on my bed. After a couple of mintues passed, I heard Jessie and Matt's voices. I got up and looked at the door. "You two need to stop fighting" I called.
~I Stopped Here Because I Did...Look Back Later For More~
- by J u i c e h J u i c e |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 07/11/2009 |
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- Title: Ice Heart.
- Artist: J u i c e h J u i c e
- Description: The story is about the girl who was jsut about to give up on love when a shy kept self guy moves to her school, she falls for him. When she thinks everything is going great, scerets are found out, and she becomes in alot of danger. ~ I know there are typos and stuff. I'm not a good speller. But over all hope you like it~
- Date: 07/11/2009
- Tags: iced heart
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Comments (4 Comments)
- IriSh_wiLd_RoS3 - 10/12/2009
- great story have you tried applying your talents to fanfiction?
- Report As Spam
- Just_another_Ojama - 07/21/2009
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very emotional good dialogue.
if u wanna write for gold drop me a line - Report As Spam
- Sugar Quill Drops - 07/19/2009
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Your first few sentences are broken up. Combine them so it's not choppy.
Whenever someone new speaks, you have to start a new paragraph.
The rest of your story seems.. not very intriguing, mainly because you've not given much of a synopsis, and the whole "fallen in love with the dangerous new kid at school" is overdone. - Report As Spam
- ii-MidnightAngel-ii - 07/15/2009
- its good and theres not that many typos
- Report As Spam