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I stifled a cry and sat down on the bench. It has been 16 years of my life wasted in an orphanage. It was horrid seeing the sorrow faces of adults that walked by, never caring to take me. I smiled to myself, perhaps one day, everything happens to a girl when she is sixteen, or so they say. But it was always another girl, never me. A tall man with straight blonde hair and deep chestnut brown eyes entered the orphanage. I assesed him as cute but what was he doing here?
"OMG!" I heard one of my enemies screech, "He is so cute! He HAS to adopt us!"
Ugh, I turned around to face the other way but that didn't prevent me from eavesdropping.
"Heya!" she grinned at him, "Are you adopting someone?" she asked in a flirtatious voice.
"Yes, I would like to meet everyone around here, so I am may decide who is best," he replied in a sincere voice.
Of course she went first to show off her followers as if they were goddesses and gave everyone else an average reputation. Everyone except me. Obviously I was just as surprised as anyone when he asked pointing at me, "Will you introduce me to her?"
"She's a nobody, nothing to worry about."
But he helped himself to a seat next to me anyway, "So what do they call you?"
"A nobody, or didn't you just hear?" I retorted not caring about him.
But he didn't seem put off, which annoyed me, "What is your name?"
"Liz if you must know," I replied to hear a few snickers in the crowd.
"Liz..." he mumbled my name as if it meant something, "Is that your full name?"
"Obviously not, it's..." I hesitated to answer, "Vaniliza."
This time the whole crowd laughed, I could see their faces told everything. They clearly didn't expect me to be chosen, as did I.
"Well then, I think it's time you came out of here and join me," he stated.
I looked at him, with my jaw to the floor. Did he just mean that he was adopting me? I looked at the others to see their reaction. My enemy and her followers glared at me for stealing their dream. Others looked happy for me while others were preoccupied. He took my hand and held it gently but firmly and led the way out. My heart was pounding, would this be it? Would I finally have a life?
- by Glacial Divinity |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 07/28/2009 |
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- Title: Liz
- Artist: Glacial Divinity
- Description: Liz has spent 16 years in the orphanage, will today be THE day?
- Date: 07/28/2009
- Tags: stranger vaniliza orphan
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Comments (1 Comments)
- Kyprini - 07/29/2009
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You have a good idea here, but I think it'd be better if you made it longer. The story is so short, it's hard to empathize with Liz. Maybe you could show a day in her life before being chosen---that would give you a means to flesh out your character and her situation.
The description of the man makes the situation a bit awkward. Everyone wants to be adopted by him because he's cute? That doesn't sound like father-want, that sounds like boyfriend-lust. - Report As Spam