Hell Beast and Holy Creature

• Artist: Swordsman of Roses
• Description: Part 2 of Grandoris and Lunaria
  
  With Leo now able to transform into a devilish animal he is truly the king of beast. However with Rose now having the ability to become a dragon she is caught between the Spirit World and the Realm of the Living. Now Leo must venture out into the world of Draconis to find a way to return his dearly beloved back to normal.
• Date: 08/02/2009
• Tags: hell beast holy creature

As Vladimir looked at the two creatures he smirked and said, "Well, well, well Leo I suppose there was a reason as to why you said you were the king of beasts. However it seems like your Rose doesn't seem to be hanging in there." Leo looked at Rose and she began to shimmer a bright gold. "Rose! What's happening to you?!" In her dragon form she coiled up, closed her eyes and replied, "I am now entering the Spirit World Leo my love. However if you slay me before I fully enter the next world then I will become a phantom."

Leo took a second to think about and then transformed in a human. "Alright if you say that you are entering the Spirit World and you you don't want to neither die nor live then so be it! Death Blow!" shouted Leo as he unsheathed his sword and sliced off Rose's head. As her head rolled onto the ground her body burst into flames and the head bit Leo's sword arm. "Damn it! Earth! Wind! Fire! Grand Gaia Slash! Hell Fire Burst! Gale Force!" shouted the swordsman as the head burst into flames as well.

Vladimir chuckled and rose up into the night sky. "Well Leo it seems like you killed your precious little flower! Now then there are two ways you can revive her. One is pass the Nine Trials of Nargon or two kill the Nine Demons of Beelzebub." Leo gave the vampire a stern look and replied, "If anything I'll slay the Nine Demons of Beelzebub! Once that is over Rose and I will be reunited!" Afterwards Leo transformed in his beast form and pranced off into the night.

Comments

[ProfessorKC]

Oi! My aching head! A little editting might help and there are very easy ways to make short scenes work. DOjn't try for so much at once! Focus on the loss of the loved one and then go all Final Fantasy on us but really, there's too much and it doesn't flow at all.

[Shine On Crazy Diamond]

Formatting as a story would really help here.

What would really be awesome is describing the various sword moves, writing them out so we can "see" in our minds how it would look.

Another thing, is it's rather odd he'd kill his beloved only to promptly try to win her back to life. It might be more interesting if he followed her to the spirit world and fought to get her back.

And "pranced" made me giggle, how about 'stalked off'?

Good job, overall.