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PROLOGUE- Reflecting
Catalina stares up at the night sky, the water distorting the scenery around her. This is her favorite thing to do, let herself sink to the bottom of a swimming pool and watch the world above as if from a separate one. She holds her breath as long as possible before letting go of the rock she uses to anchor herself and floating slowly to the surface. Catching her breath Cat's mind turns back to the news she just received. Her mother is dead. At seventeen years old, Cat knows the pain of being the cause of her mothers death. And yet, she hasn't shed a single tear.
Don't get me wrong, Cat loved her mother, but the pain of their relationship and her mother's betrayal is stronger than that love. Devastated as she is by the loss, Cat has been without her mother for over a year. She has moved on as much as possible, trying to embrace her new and better life.
Easing herself out of the pool, Cat goes to sit at the table she has marked with her things. She glances to the shallow end, where others staying at the Holiday Inn are playing with their children, or laughing with their siblings. She wonders why all that has happened, happened. Why is that her family has had to go through so much pain, while others can be left so oblivious to that kind of hurting.
Catalina is sitting in her bedroom, talking on the phone with her friend Nikki, when the sound of yet more furniture meeting the walls with force sounds through the house. Quickly, Cat hangs up and runs to the kitchen, where she sees the dining table on its side through the window, and her stepfather gripping her mother by the neck against the fridge.
A cold splash of water and Cat is brought back to the present. Seeing the culprit is just a little girl, she flashes a small smile. The girl is scolded by her mother, despite Cat's insistence that it was quite alright. When the mother swims after her son, who is also getting himself into trouble, Cat squats at the side of the pool where the girl is practicing her 'dead man's float' with a vengeance.
"Hey, don't worry 'bout her. She's just looking out for you. Not everyone is OK with getting splashed at a pool. Which makes you wonder why they would be at a pool in the first place, huh?" Cat is taken aback when the girl glares at her and swims off. Even though Cat understands the girl probably thinks its Cat's fault she got in trouble, she cant help but mutter to herself, "Guess not," before grabbing her things and going to her room.
Cat drops her things inside the door and plops onto the nice king bed with a sigh. What am I doing here?, she thinks to herself. The funeral is tomorrow. There is no way I can go through with this. CRAP! I'm getting the bed soaked!
After showering and dressing for bed, Catalina waits for sleep to take over and dreads the morning, when she will have to face the guilt of leaving her mother when she needed her most.
- by Mord_Sith_Catalina |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 08/12/2009 |
- Skip
- Title: Everyone's Little Sister: ProL
- Artist: Mord_Sith_Catalina
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Description:
This is the story of Catalina, a 17 year old girl with a tough past. Although it is mostly based off of my own experiences, the names are changed, and a few events slightly altered.
-comments/critiques and rating are VERY much so welcomed- - Date: 08/12/2009
- Tags: little sister
- Report Post
Comments (7 Comments)
- Geuro - 09/10/2009
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(Part 1)
Not bad. You have several grammatical errors throughout, more so at the end of the story. It’s always important to eliminate poor grammar as best as you can. Otherwise, the story will suffer. Even a casual reader will be thrown off by grammatical mistakes. Overall, however, it wasn’t a bad story. It would be interesting to see where you take this character. - Report As Spam
- Geuro - 09/10/2009
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(Part 2)
However, I do have one suggestion. Eliminate the personalization of the narrator. The sentence, “Don’t get me wrong” should be omitted, in my opinion. You make the narrator a character and a part of the story with sentences like that. Unless the narrator actually plays a role in the story (instead of just telling the story) then any personal side comments should be eliminated. Keep on writing. - Report As Spam
- goldenhappyface107 - 09/04/2009
- ohhhhh very colorful
- Report As Spam
- Mord_Sith_Catalina - 08/30/2009
- it was a flashback
- Report As Spam
- Sen-Ten 88P - 08/12/2009
- Not bad, a little depressing. Keep up the good work!
- Report As Spam