• I walked into Ryan's room and saw him rubbing his knife on his wrist hard. More hard than usal. I stared at him. "Stop!" I cried. I hated when he cut infront of me. I guess I walked in on him the wrong time. Ryan was emo. He was my best friend but he was pure emo. He never smiled and he never had any fun. He is a orphan is forced to live alone even when he was six. It breaks my heart to see him trying to afford the house his lives in. I'm sure if his parents hadn't been murderd that he wouldn't be living the sucky life he does. I offered to live with Ryan which seems wrong but he is alone and in need of serious help around the house. He took me in. He gave me his parents bedroom. He makes sure I'm careful with everything in that bedroom. Mom and dad don't like me living with Ryan but I don't care. "Sorry Sarah." Ryan said and put his knife in his pocket and rubbed the blood off his wrist with his shirt. "It's fine." I mumbled. "Just c'mon suppers ready." I mumbled quietly.

    In the house I'm like the wife and he's like the depressed emo farther. Even though we are only fifteen. I vist my family very often and they beg me to come back home but I tell them that Ryan needs help. Ryan thanked me for the supper I made him. It was macorni and cheese. "I went shopping today." I said quietly. "Oh." Ryan said softly. Ryan rarely every used his voice. He mostly whispered softly or talked softly. Sometimes when he cuts himself you could hear him whimper mom and dad softly. I try to encorage him to stop but he says it's his nature to cut I just don't belive it. "How many times did you cut yourself today?" I asked casually. "Six times." He mumbled softly knowing that I don't like it when he cuts over three times. I stared at him. He hung his head low and took his knife out and cut himself across his forehead. I looked at him and saw the blood drip and for the first time in awhile I saw him smile.

    The next day Ryan and I went to school but I was feeling unuseally sick. I wanted to stay home but I useally had to stay with Ryan to protect him from awful kids and him cutting himself in class. "Hey it's emo boy can you show me your bloody knife Mr. Too cool skinny jeans?" The toughest kid in the school asked as Ryan entered the bus. Ryan hung his head. His black hair covering his eyes. I leaded him into a empty seat. Every bump of the way I felt sicker I was wondering why.

    Later on in the day I caught Ryan moving his knife his wrist in a rythem that dug deeper and deeper into his flesh. "Stop don't!" I cried grabbing the knife out of his hand and stuffing it into my pocket. "You know we don't allow knifes in school Sarah." The teacher said. I bit my lip. I felt sicker and sicker as the day went on and I asked to be excused to the bathroom. I threw up chunks of food and it blew out of my mouth in a heap. I dryheaved and I couldn't stop. I told the teacher and she excused me. Ryan looked at me nervously. He hated when I was sick. He hated whenever I was gone or not around him.

    The nurse checked and said I had food poisening. "From what?" I asked. "I don't know." The nurse said. "But I'm afraid that the food is going to keep on sneeking up on ya." The nurse said. She had a southern accent. Then I felt food coming up. I ran to the nearest trash bag and kept throwing up until I stopped. The nurse said I needed to go to the hospital.

    Ryan was all bent out of shape when he found out that. He promised to stay with me every night of everyday that I was there but the nurses kicked him out eventually and told him not to come back until I was better. Ryan called me all the time though. Every hour. He said that he was considering killing himself but I figured he was just playing. He seemed nervous and more tense everytime he called and soon it was every thirty minutes he called until the nurses told him to stop calling or they'd call the police. I tried telling them that Ryan needed me but they didn't understand.

    When I became over the sickness I went back home. "Ryan I'm home!" I called. There was silence. "Ryan?" I asked. I entered his room and see him lying on the ground. A gun is wrapped tightly in his hand. I take it out of his hand realizing if it was really him who killed himself. I smelled the gun and smelled his scent. "Ryan." Was all that escaped my mouth.

    I couldn't stop screaming. I screamed so loud I got a huge headache. I dropped on the floor and grabbed him. I hugged him closer and kissed his cheek which I've never done before. I lyed there all day long not removing from the postion.

    Mom and dad came to visit me at home since I wasn't sick anymore. They found my lying on the ground with Ryan crying. Mom looked confused. "He's dead just dead!" I cried and pressed my lips against his cheek again not removing my lips. "How did he die?" Dad asked. "He killed himself!" I cried. "He couldn't wait for me to come home!" I cried harshly. Then I became angry. I got up and kicked the wall with my bare foot so hard that I cried out in pain and wobbled down on the ground. I got close to Ryan again. Mom helped me to my feet. "Let's call 911." She said.

    The police came imeaditly and abulances came so quickly. It hurt to watch. I couldn't remove my eyes from the little bed they put him in. They put his body right between his mothers and his fathers. I knew he was in a better place but I kept crying over the fact that he was dead. He needed someone there always for him and I was there every step of the way until that day. I kept the knife with me forever and his gun I kissed the top of the knife where his frsh blood was. I smelled it. I rememeberd him forever and ever.