• It was interesting how new kids could turn the school upside down. Canby High School was by no means a “small school,” with nearly two thousand students crawling it’s halls, but the arrival of a new student mid-school year was cause for conversations to spill out of control. Gwynn had heard many rumors, with the only consistency that it was fraternal twins that had arrived. From what she could glean from the snippets of conversations and gossip she overheard, the twins looked extraordinarily alike. Gwynn had snorted to herself when she heard the wild rumor that they were actually identical and one was merely a cross-dresser. She was a creature of logic and proof; she could wait until she saw the new arrivals for herself.

    She didn’t have to wait long. In her fourth period English class she found them sitting adjacent to the other, and realized that they really did look that alike. The boy (she assumed it was a boy due to the short hair) was chatting animatedly with the girl next to him. His pale blue eyes were shining with an inner light that drew those near to him like moths to a flame. His lips were surprisingly full, pale like bubblegum and pulled back in a charming smile as he laughed.

    His sister, however, was seated quietly at his side, lips folded in a smooth line as she read the book in her lap. Her hair was longer, possibly past her waist, and was the same white-blonde as her brother’s. Even when they were downcast, Gwynn could see her eyes were the same shade of tinted snow. Walking over to her, Gwynn sat next to the girl and offered a quiet “Hello.”

    Pulling her eyes away from her book, the girl carefully marked her place and looked up at Gwynn. “Hello. I’m Tatiana Kade, and this is my brother, Hayden.”

    Whipping around at the sound of his name, Hayden grinned at Gwynn. “Hello Gwynn honey,” he said with a cheery wave before turning back to his previous conversation.

    “He seems quite the social butterfly,” Gwynn noted, glancing back to Tatiana.

    Baring her teeth in a smile, Tatiana said wryly “You don’t know the half of it.”

    In the duration of English class, Gwynn learned that Tatiana and her family had moved from Port Orford, and before that from Baker City. The twin’s father was a business agent, which forced him to move quite often. However, Tatiana was often restless and unhappy with each move, so her family moved frequently in hopes of finding a place that both of the twins would like. So far, Hayden was the only one who had liked anyplace they stayed, while Tatiana had hated it.

    The bell rang, signaling their dismissal for fifth period. “What’s your next class?” Gwynn asked Tatiana.

    “Hayden and I have Chemistry next,” Tatiana answered, gathering her things into her lavender backpack.

    “No luck,” Gwynn said glumly, tossing her checkered black and white backpack over her shoulder. “Do you two always have classes together?”

    Tatiana nodded, and Hayden chipped in, “It’s a twin thing.” Tatiana rolled her eyes, adjusted the straps on her backpack and headed out the door with Gwynn.

    “Would you like to eat lunch with me tomorrow?” Gwynn offered, smoothing down her rampant curls of auburn. “I sit in the far corner of the cafeteria with a big group of gothic looking kids. You can’t miss them; we’re the only ones who dress like that.”

    Smiling, Tatiana grinned and said her goodbyes. Hayden waved cheerfully, blowing kisses to a giggling girl and her posse. “See you tomorrow!” Gwynn called after them, and the twins waved their goodbyes in perfect unison.


    Lunch was always a loud affair. Clustered together at a table in the corner, the goths and misfits chatted and laughed as loud as the popular kids in the center of the lunch room. Adjusting her knee-high socks, Gwynn primly folded her legs and admired the lace on her ribboned skirt.

    Hearing her name, Gwynn turned and stood to greet Tatiana and Hayden. Tatiana was dressed in a empire-waist jean skirt and a white blouse, while Hayden practically glowed in his bright blue shirt and neon green skinny jeans. “Nice pants,” Gwynn commented to Hayden.

    Striking a dramatic pose, Hayden ran a hand through his spiky blonde hair and said with a roguish grin, “Thank you darling. I shopped a Kohl’s sale!” Gwynn’s friends laughed appreciatively, and Gwynn rolled her eyes and sat Tatiana next to her.

    They chatted through lunch, trading stories and gossip. Tatiana told her in low tones (or as low as you could get in a crowded lunch room) that Hayden was oddly obsessed with “To-Do Lists” and would put everything on them, including odd romantic plans and days he planned to skip school. “He’s always leaving them in plain sight,” Tatiana confided, then laughed. “And he wonders how my parents always figure out when he’s faking sick.”

    “You look familiar,” Hayden mused, out of the blue, pausing from eating an apple.

    “She looks just like Jenny,” Tatiana said. Hayden tilted his head, then nodded in agreement.

    “Who’s Jenny?” Gwynn asked, and the twins grinned sheepishly at her.

    “Jenny was a doll I had when I was a little girl,” Tatiana explained. “She was tiny, like you, and had curls just like yours; color, thickness, the whole shebang. The only difference is that her eyes were blue.”

    “My hair is dyed this color,” Gwynn said with a laugh. “It’s normally brown.”

    “You still look like her,” Hayden said with a laugh. “And I think I have Jenny somewhere in my closet. I’ve kept it in there after I hid it in my closet the first time I took it from you.” When Gwynn arched her eyebrow in curiosity, Hayden admitted, “I loved that doll. Tatiana had gotten it for Christmas, but I had wanted it too. So I stole it, like most envious children do.”

    Tatiana rolled her eyes and said lightly, “He always steals my stuff. Dolls, accessories, even my skirts.” Though her tone was light, her blue eyes flashed with the flickering of annoyance.

    When lunch ended, Gwynn accompanied Tatiana to English class, watching in amusement as Hayden waltzed through the halls with a scrawny boy that seemed quite taken with Hayden. Upon arriving at the classroom, Hayden dramatically waved farewell to the boy and blew repeated kisses. “What a cutie,” he sighed, grinning lopsidedly at his sister. “Don’t you agree?”

    “We never do,” Tatiana said brusquely, settling into her desk.

    Hayden blinked, before saying dreamily, “I had almost forgotten that.”

    “You two don’t agree?” Gwynn asked, and Tatiana nodded. “Not all siblings have to. But what would I know, I’m an only child.”

    “An only child?” Hayden demanded, looking aghast. “We’ll change that! Quick, Tatiana, let’s get her parents in a tragic accident and have our family adopt her!”

    Unable to resist, Gwynn laughed at that, causing her cascades of curls to bounce around her slight frame. Ice broken, Gwynn joked and traded notes with the twins, sometimes going into spasms of laughter from the witty and absurd things Hayden wrote.

    Annoyed by their antics, the teacher irritably assigned a research paper a day early and sent them packing at the bell. “How am I supposed to do a paper?” Hayden bemoaned, looking dramatically to the ceiling in a mockery of supplication.

    “Why don’t we have a study group?” Gwynn offered. “It might be loud, but we’d at least get some ideas down.”

    “Our parents wouldn’t mind that,” Tatiana said quickly, to get a word in edgewise before Hayden ran with the idea. “Give me your address, and we can pick you up at six-thirty for our study group.”

    Gwynn complied, and Hayden joked, “Now that I know where you live, can I stand outside your bedroom window with a boom-box playing bad eighties love songs?”

    Although Gwynn had agreed Hayden for his offer, she didn’t actually expect him to go through with it. Sure enough, at six twenty-eight he was outside her bedroom window with a boom-box, playing ‘Africa’ by Toto. Laughing, Gwynn gathered her things and called a hasty goodbye to her father, who grunted and shuffled the newspaper he was reading.

    “I didn’t expect you to actually do it,” Gwynn told Hayden with disbelief as she clambered into his car and buckling her seatbelt.

    “Never say yes to anything he offers, he always goes through with it,” Tatiana said with dark humor from the passenger seat.

    They drove, trading jokes and singing along to overplayed songs on the radio. Nearing the edge of town, Hayden steered them towards a secluded scattering of new houses, settled near a grove of pine and maple trees. Turning them into the long gravel driveway of the house nearest the copse, Hayden drove towards the two story white house.

    As they neared it, Gwynn could the long, sliver-like window that pierced the sides of the house and the black door that almost looked like the yawning mouth of a giant white dog. When Hayden stopped the car, Tatiana got outside with Gwynn hastily following her. Flinging the door open, Tatiana gestured for Gwynn to follow her inside.

    The first thing Gwynn thought was that it seemed very big. The ceiling was high above her, unblocked by any floors or stairs. Open and stark, the entrance made her feel tiny. To her left was a sitting room of sorts, furnished with expensive looking-couches and a mahogany table. “Nice place you’ve got here,” Gwynn ventured.

    Tatiana nodded brusquely, taking Gwynn’s backpack and dumping it unceremoniously on the mahogany table.

    A man came from another room, waving to the teenagers in his entryway. “Hello, you must be Gwynn. Glad that you decided to come over and study with the twins. Sorry that my wife couldn’t come meet you, she’s got a meeting tonight. I’m here to help though.”

    “Thanks,” Gwynn said, shaking his proffered hand. His hair was darker than his children’s, but his eyes were a similar shade of blue. Like Hayden, Mr. Kade had a warm smile and crinkles around his eyes that said he laughed a lot.

    “We should get to work,” Tatiana interrupted, drifting towards the table and gesturing to the textbook that lay open on it.

    “Famous last words,” Hayden said cheekily, earning a grin from Gwynn and a scowl from Tatiana.


    Indeed, two hours later it seemed that Tatiana’s hopes for work were all in vain. Hayden was lounged on the couch, cracking jokes with Gwynn and trading stories about ex-boyfriends. As Hayden opened his mouth to relate some funny story, Tatiana abruptly cut him off. “Can we be serious for at least five seconds?” she snarled, glaring murder at Hayden.

    “Oh, take a chill pill,” he said dismissively. “It’s no big deal if things don’t go exactly your way.”

    Rubbing her temples, Tatiana said in low tones, “No, but it is a big deal if we fail this paper because you couldn’t focus.”

    “We’re fine,” Hayden said, voice rising as if to spite her quieting tones. “Just because you need to sit in utter silence and type away....”

    “We need to at least work!” she burst out. “Instead of distracting Gwynn, why not do something useful and at least pretend to work?”

    “Gwynn doesn’t mind talking with me,” Hayden said, looking offended as he sat up straight.

    “Of course not!” Tatiana spat, eyes burning with distaste. “No one would ever mind talking to you.”

    “What’s that supposed to mean?” Hayden asked quietly, eyes narrowing as his voice dropped.

    “I’m saying that for once, just once, let me have my own friends,” Tatiana said, just as quiet.

    “You have your own friends,” Hayden spluttered, hands fluttering as his face flushed.

    “You have your own friends!” Tatiana snapped back. “Every single friend I’ve ever had always ends up buddying up with you as well. I’ve never been able to have a best friend without you being the other one.”

    “Stop being absurd,” Hayden said, all warmth going out like a candle in the wind. Standing stiffly, he crossed his arms and stared into his sister’s eyes.

    “The only thing absurd here is you,” Tatiana said bitterly. “You’re more of a girl than I am.”

    For a moment there was only absolute silence. Working his jaw, Hayden stared at his sister, eyes absolutely murderous. “I’ll take that as a compliment,” he finally ground out, starting towards the stairs. Stopping, he turned and said coldly, “So are we going to run away again?”

    Now it was Tatiana who stared at him in affronted uncertainty. “What on earth are you talking about?”

    “We always move because of you. You always hate it there, whether it’s the town, the people, or the schools. You’re miserable, and you make us miserable too. So we move, again and again, hoping that you might actually like someplace.” Cutting off his sister’s protests, Hayden ranted on. “If you actually tried to enjoy yourself, maybe your friends wouldn’t ditch you.”

    No words were spoken as Hayden stomped up the stairs. Tatiana stared after him, tears forming in her blue eyes as she stood there, stunned.

    “I’ll take you home,” Mr. Kade offered, from the doorway, looking away from his daughter as he stared at the grain of the wooden door. “It’s late enough on a school night.”

    Quietly murmuring her goodbyes, Gwynn gave Tatiana a quick hug before leaving with her father. The drive home was silent, only broken when he said as he pulled into her driveway, “I’m sorry you had to be caught up in that, Gwynn.”

    Lingering outside the car, hand on the edge of the door, Gwynn said awkwardly, “It’s all right. Just give them both a hug from me, all right?” With that, she shut the door and ran inside, not bothering to look back at the torn father in his black sedan. Arriving in her room, Gwynn soundly thanked her fortune to not have siblings.


    At lunch the next day, there was no sign of Tatiana or Hayden. Nor in English, and Gwynn began to worry. After the fight that had happened the night before, she couldn’t help but worry that something terrible had happened to one of the twins. Possibly both. Hoping that her fear were unfounded, Gwynn waited anxiously for a call, a text message, any sign that she was merely being paranoid. No word, and Gwynn spent an anxious night tossing and turning as she dreamt uneasily of Hayden dressed in the color of spilt blood. She woke up early the next morning, slowly getting dressed as fear coiled itself in her belly.

    It seemed her fears were half-true when she saw Hayden at lunch. He looked a wreck, dark circles beneath his eyes and his face was pale and drawn. “What’s wrong Hayden?” Gwynn immediately asked, picking up on the lack of his sister’s presence. “Where’s Tatiana?”

    “Gone,” Hayden said hoarsely, eyes staring blankly ahead of him as he collapsed into a chair, all former traces of light gone from his tired frame. “We woke up yesterday and she was just gone.”

    “Where did she go?” Gwynn asked, but Hayden merely shook his head, hair flopping limply.

    “No idea. She just up and split. And do you know what the worst part is?” Hayden asked, raising his dead blue eyes to Gwynn’s, staring as she shook her head slowly. “I can’t feel her. Like, when we were kids and apart, I could still feel her, somewhere. And now, I can’t.” Burying his face in his hands, Hayden moaned in anguish. “I never apologized for the horrible things I said to her before she left.”

    Wrapping her arms around his shoulders, Gwynn hugged Hayden to her, quietly murmuring comforting words into his hair. He wept a little, before drying his eyes fiercely and telling her quietly, “I want to go home Gwynn.”

    “I’ll take you to the office,” she offered, but he shook his head wildly.

    “No!” he exclaimed, before quieting. “Just take me home. Please.”

    Gathering her things, Gwynn walked with Hayden to his car. Accepting her offer to drive, Hayden sat dully in the passenger’s seat, quietly giving directions to his house when Gwynn started to get lost. When they arrived, Gwynn asked, “Do you want me to get you anything?”

    “Could you get my laptop from upstairs? I want to see if anyone responded to the email I sent out about Tatiana. It’s in my room,” he told her, pointing out his bedroom to her.

    Climbing up the stairs, Gwynn entered his room and and looked around briefly. It was painted a bright blue, with quotes of all kinds scrawled in marker across the walls. Spotting the white laptop on the desk, Gwynn picked it up and froze when she knocked a notepad off his desk. Picking it up, she glanced at it and went still.

    It was his notebook of to-do lists, each one dated with blue pen in the corners and checked off with that pen. On the page she was opened to said the words “move into new house.” Flipping through the pages, she paused at the list for two days ago, the day of the fight. Scrawled angrily at the bottom were the words “Make Tatiana leave.”

    Blankly Gwynn stared at them, thinking it had to be some sort of misunderstanding. Hayden had to have just been angry at the time, Gwynn reasoned. It was perfectly normal to write when angry. It wasn’t normal, though, for the person in the cross-hairs to go missing after the outburst.

    Taking a deep breath, Gwynn flipped to the next page and scanned it. “Have parents join Tatiana,” was scrawled at the top with a check-mark next to it. Panicked now, Gwynn moved to the next page and felt her heart flutter in fear.

    “Have Gwynn join the rest of the family,” she whispered, reading the only unmarked item on the list. Beneath it was the erased words, “Keep her as a....”

    “Gwynn?” Hayden called from downstairs. Hastily she put the notebook back on the table and called back in affirmation.

    Tramping down the stairs, Gwynn said with a faked smile, “Sorry, it took me a bit to find it.” Handing Hayden the laptop, she put her hand over her cellphone in forced surprise and said smoothly, “Excuse me, it’s probably my dad calling. I was going to have him drop by the school and give me the homework I forgot.”

    Barely listening to Hayden’s reply, Gwynn darted outside, flipping open her phone and pretending to talk with her father. The moment she was out of Hayden’s view, she pulled the phone away from her ear and hastily dialed the emergency number.

    “911, what’s your emergency?” a woman hummed in her ear.

    “You’ve got to help me,” Gwynn hissed. “He’s going to kill me.”

    “Miss, where are you?” the woman asked, the sounds of papers rustling reached Gwynn’s ears.

    Behind her, the front door was flung open as Hayden tackled her to the ground. Gwynn screamed, and Hayden tore the phone from her hand and snapped it easily in half. Grinning crazily down at her, Hayden clucked his tongue in annoyance and said, “It’s not nice to lie to people like that, Jenny-doll.”

    “Jenny...?” Gwynn began to ask, voice trailing off as she read into Hayden’s sadistic smile.

    “Come along, we’ve still got the family to see. Mom even came home this time, just for you.” Grabbing a fistful of her hair, Hayden dragged Gwynn upright and began to tug her towards the trees, giggling to himself as he skipped, pulling harshly on her hair every time he bounced along.

    The light dimmed when they entered the forest, the tops of the trees weaving together to form a cavern-like roof above them. Trees looked like stalagmites, stretching into the emerald oblivion that blotted out the sky. Little rags of the late afternoon sun fell through, dangling in the air like hanged men. Occasionally a ray of light would fall on Hayden’s head, creating a livid halo that was stark against the miserable world of the woods. Hayden skipped again, and Gwynn felt a hank of her hair separate forcibly from her scalp, and she half-fainted, feeling the blood that tickled her nape.

    A manic laugh filled the forest; high-pitched and out of control as Hayden began to run faster, dragging Gwynn through the mud and loam. She screamed, tripped and clutching at his wrist to keep him from ripping the rest of her hair out. More laughter, and then she was thrown forcibly to the ground.

    Forehead pressed into the mulch, Gwynn inhaled a pungent mix of rotting leaves and metallic blood. Something else invaded her senses; an cloying scent that made her gag. Raising her head, Gwynn stifled a scream as she stared into Hayden’s eyes. There was no movement, and as she stared in horrified fascination, she could see the bloated death-white skin of his round face above the dark, messy slash of his slit throat. The laughter grew in intensity behind her, and when Gwynn dared to look, she queried, “Tatiana?”

    “Good, aren’t I?” Tatiana grinned, waltzing over to her brother’s body. Tilting her head to one side, she mused, “One little haircut and to the world, I’m Hayden.” Her face was petulant, arctic eyes burning with a mad rage. Snapping her head back up, Tatiana twirled gracefully to where two other bodies lay, side by side. Gwynn wondered dimly if Tatiana had stolen Hayden’s grace when she took his life.

    “I decided they had to go too,” Tatiana said, squatting down to stare curiously into her mother’s face. “Even when they thought I was missing, all the spoke about was how Hayden was doing. Daddy did go to look for Tatiana,” she giggled, looking into his face now. Gwynn turned away, bile rising as she realized that his eyes were no longer there. No doubt they looked too much like her brother’s. “I went with him. He seemed so upset, not knowing where I was, that I took him to see Hayden. He didn’t seem to like the sight very much. He cried, you know. Screamed like a small child. I didn’t want him to continue on like that, moaning over Hayden’s body, so I killed him. Sent him off to be with my brother.”

    Perhaps that was Tatiana’s twisted way of mercy. “What about your mother?” Gwynn rasped, peeking at the dead woman who looked almost peaceful in death.

    Tatiana’s smile was lopsided. “Hayden hates being alone, and he hates even more to be without his mother.” Boredom entered her voice, and Tatiana abruptly stalked over to Gwynn. “Aren’t you going to ask how he died? That’s what girlfriends do in the movies.”

    “We weren’t dating,” Gwynn mumbled back through clumsy lips, looking sadly at Hayden’s bloated form.

    “Oh, I know,” Tatiana purred. “We both know he’s gay and we both know that you loved him in a way that you could never love me.” Turning to face her, Tatiana’s eyes blazed like hellfire in their sockets. “Just like everyone loved Hayden.”

    Without warning, Tatiana stomped viciously on her brother’s face; the snap of cartilage signifying the bloodless, postmortem break of his nose. “Where did that get you, Hayden?” she shrieked, trembling as she raged at his lifeless body. “Where did that get you, all those those friends? The friends you stole from me! The parents you commanded with your every whim! The world was your plaything, and you were everything to everyone. And where did that get you? Dead!” Cackling abruptly, Tatiana roughly ran her frenzied hands through her hair, tearing out strands and tossing them into the air. They floated down like dismembered sunlight, little ghosts of purity that fell to the blood-churned soil.

    “Can you see what I am now?” Her voice quieted, the sound folding in on itself as her shoulders slumped. In that moment, Gwynn swore that Tatiana was going to weep.

    Then she jumped, laughing as she screamed, “I’m the center of the world now! I’m not a set anymore, I’m not your shadow, I’m not your sister! I am me! I am your death, I am your master, I am your God! I was in the beginning and I was your end! What does that make you now, darling? Nothing!” Shrieking with laughter, she twirled in haphazard circles as she crooned, “Nothing! Nothing, nothing, nothing!”

    Slowly easing herself upright, Gwynn internally winced at the bruises that had formed. Alerted, Tatiana ran dizzily at Gwynn, bumping into her as she ran her fingers through her curls, tearing at the tangles that had formed from the scuffles.

    “And now, without Hayden around to steal you, you’re finally mine now.” Smiling Tatiana crooned, “You’re my little doll now, Jenny. Mine and always mine.”

    There was a moment, when Gwynn stared into Tatiana’s eyes, she could see the sanity behind the glimmer of insanity. Then she smiled a Cheshire Cat smile, and any visible sanity was snuffed out.

    “You look so much like my little Jenny. But your eyes, they’re all wrong! They’re hazel, not blue.” Peevish, Tatiana frowned into Gwynn’s eyes before saying slowly, “But, I suppose they can go.”

    A scream tore out of Gwynn’s throat as Tatiana lunged for her, nails scraping her face. Striking wildly, she thrashed and clawed at Tatiana, yelling in pain as Tatiana yanked on her hair, ripping strands out. Expertly Tatiana’s nails raked her face, scrabbling at her left eye. Blood was running down Gwynn’s face from the gouges, and she begged Tatiana to stop.

    Excruciating pain erupted from the left side of Gwynn’s face, and through her half-swollen right eye Gwynn could see Tatiana gloating over something in her bloodied, cupped hands. Fury raged through her, and Gwynn struck at her, raking her nails along Tatiana’s face. Blood sprang from the scrapes, and Tatiana howled with pain. Furiously Tatiana attacked, nails digging and clawing, trying to tear Gwynn’s hands away from their attempt to protect her one eye. Slashing from between her fingers, Gwynn screamed as blood began to run more freely down her face. Nearby a dog barked, and in the silence that fell between the two they could hear men blundering through the woods.

    The weight that was Tatiana was torn off her chest, and Gwynn curled up in the fetal position. Sounds crashed down on her eyes, dulling to a soft roar as she sank in and out of oblivion. A hand shook her shoulder and a man’s voice stabbed into her ear. “You okay?”

    “No,” Gwynn moaned, hands shifting to cover her eyes. “She got my eyes.”

    Gently she was rolled to her back, and the rough of her palms was removed from her cheeks without any difference in light.

    “Holy hell,” the man breathed, before shouting, “We need to get this kid to a medic!” Somewhere behind her, Gwynn heard Tatiana’s manic laugh, muffled slightly by what Gwynn imagined to be the molding forest floor.

    “Let’s get this guy into custody,” another man with a gruff voice said, grunting as he presumably picked up Tatiana.

    “She,” Gwynn corrected. “Her name is Tatiana.”

    “It’s all right,” the man near her said. There was a tearing sound, and he put what felt like fabric over her eyes and around her head.

    As she was picked up into the man’s arms, she felt his chest rumble as he said, “We can talk when you’re in a hospital and stable.”

    Rocked slightly from side to side, Gwynn listened to the crunch of twigs and bushes beneath the man’s feet. His breathing was steady, and she began to let herself slip into a state of semi-consciousness.

    The sound of metal doors being opened, and she was wrapped in a warm material before being laid on a flat surface. Something tight wound itself over her arms and legs, and Gwynn registered that she was being taken in an ambulance. “What damage did you see?” A new, feminine voice asked.

    “From what I can tell, the suspect clawed her eyes out,” the man who had carried her replied. “It’s highly likely that she can’t see a thing.”

    No, Gwynn thought dizzily, I can’t see a thing. And I don’t want to, not if it means seeing her crazed blue eyes ever again.