- maria and rebecca knew that they should of went with her family on vacation in cancoon rather then in this old manor when it got late at night maria heard a bang coming from downstairs she deicided not to figure out who the person was she called her twin sister to hide in one of the rooms just when she was about to go into a room the lights went out so rebecca and maria had to hide in the same room trying to be as quiet as possible it was then that they had been found they kept on trying to be unseen they both knew that he could see them then the crackle of thunder lit up the room lighting up his cold dark face and his smile showing a wicked smile he then started to walk towards them maria was listening to everything that he was doing he was listening also going slowly up the attic stairs the thunder lit the room up again this time showing the mans full body he was dressed in all black she could tell that he would've killed them both at the same time instead he walked closer towards them he got close enough to tie them they allowed him to to tie them cause they both knew that they were helpless he blindfolded rebecca then tied her arms and legs he did the same to maria he grabbed rebecca and maria and threw them into a car they soon fell asleep a halfhour later when they woke up they both knew that they were not home they were at a very old manor that seemed to have been abandoned before he then took them out of the car he took them inside the manor and said that he was not going to kill them just yet if they wanted to live they would have to work for him they both agreeed even though they did not want to they were forced to he gave them a list of things to do the first thing to do was to clean all the rooms in the house there were at least a hundred rooms in the house so maria and rebecca had to split up when they were done they went to their new master he wanted them to be in his room he told them that it was time to washup he grabbed maria and threw her into the bathroom he did the same to rebecca then he took their clothes off oh my god they both thought he then putted them into the shower he washed their bodies he was very gentle when he washed them when he was done he took them out and dried them off after he was done he putted their clothes back on after he was done he putted them in a room where food was in he told them that they should go to sleep they listened maria told rebecca that he was a vampire waiting for a perfect moment to sink his teeth into their necks
- by cookiemnster12345 |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 12/22/2009 |
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- Title: chapter1 somethings with us
- Artist: cookiemnster12345
- Description: kk heres chapter 1 the first one that u saw was the intro heres the real chapter
- Date: 12/22/2009
- Tags: chapter1 somethings with
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Comments (3 Comments)
- cookiemnster12345 - 12/22/2009
- yeah i hav to fix it i actually want u to noe wat maria and rebecca look ike to let ur imagination wonder wat they both look like biggrin
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- DeniHazelnut - 12/22/2009
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Hello, so is this a part or the entire chapter? Well either way I think I got the idea of it...though, I found some grammar issues that made the writing complicated to read. Don't worry, English is my second language and I am always having issues with words and grammar. Just keep practicing and as a further suggestion, try to add more description. I wonder how Rebecca and Maria look like. smile
I'll give it 3 out 5 - Report As Spam