• tab I swung open the closet doors, and found myself shuffling through the layers of dusty, old suits I hadn't used in years. Nervously, like the last time I frantically looked for a suit that would please Susan.
    tab I wasn't falling for her again, was I?
    tab I cursed myself for even thinking the though, but even so, couldn't help but reminisce about before as I picked up the worn suit I wore on my date with Susan. I looked curiously at a pocket. A ketchup stain...
    tab I remember how I got this. I stuffed some ketchup from the restaraunt, and as Susan and I were walking outside, I figured out that there was a leak in one of the packs. A smile slowly nudged it's way onto my face.
    tab At first, I was mad. It was my favorite suit, and I certainly didn't want it to get ruined. But as soon as I saw Susan laughing pleasantly... A tear began to dribble down my cheek.
    tab It was contagious. In moments, I was laughing along with her, not even quite sure why I was laughing. My parents were going to yell at me for getting my suit messy. I'd probably be scolded for about an hour. But even so...I felt happy with her. As long as she was happy. My smile faded away as I broke down into little whimpers and put the suit down. I picked a different one.

    tab "Your sitting in the same place as last time," I remarked, walking over to Susan and sitting down. Just one glance at her, and that's all you needed. She looked beautiful.
    tab Like an angel.
    tab "Of course." She looked around a little, and then said,
    tab "This place...it hasn't changed a bit, has it?"
    tab "Uh, yeah..." Such a smooth talker I was.
    tab "You remember what you said last time we were here together? That no one actually hated me." I didn't say anything. Just slowly nodded.
    tab "Do you honestly still believe that? Even now?" I didn't answer.
    tab "Jack..." she started softly, looking at me straight in the eye, a rare sight from her. "I want to tell you something. About me." I was scared. I was genuinely scared about what she was going to say. I didn't want my image of her to be destroyed. I didn't want to know the truth.
    tab "Please..." she went on. "Please listen. I need someone...I need someone to listen." Silence. Just a couple seconds of it, but it felt like a life time until I finally breathed in and said,
    tab "All right...I'll listen."

    tab "Jack. There's no other way to say it. What I've done is...unforigvable, even in the situation I was in.
    tab "To keep things simple, my dad was divorced and short of money. He looked so sad all the time..." Susan looked back down at her shoes.
    tab "I hated to see him sad. All I wanted to do...all I wanted to do was make him happy again.
    tab "You remember what I did. The lemenade stands, mowing grass, shoveling snow...It was all money for my dad." She closed her eyes tight and gritted her teeth. This was incredibly hard for her.
    tab "But it just wasn't enough. We needed more money, or we wouldn't get by. That's when...I went last resort." The next things she said were so soft, I strained myself to hear them, even though I didn't want to.
    tab "I knew how pretty I was. I was aware of that. That's why...that's why I turned myself into a prostitute. An object..."
    tab "Susan..."
    tab "After I turned 15, I slept with five people. The money came pouring in. And at first, my dad was happy. Then, as the money kept on coming, he go curious. 'Where's the money coming from?' he'd ask me over and over again. I usually made something stupid up, and changed the subject. I didn't want my dad to know...I wanted my dad to be happy.
    tab "But it wasn't before long when rumors began to spring up. For once, they were all true. How I was a whore. How I slept with five men. One person after another heard, until finally, my father heard.
    tab "Gone was my happy father. Hours upon hours, we argued. But it wasn't so much of arguing as me being constantly insulted, abused...
    tab "Everyone hated me. My friends, neighbors, family...But you..." She looked back up at me. "You were there. And you were all I had."
    tab "Eventually, my dad sent me away to foster care. He said he didn't want to take care of a pig, and said it as if I was just that. An animal. Not even worth the time.
    tab "Nobody wanted me. And as the years went by, I watched happy children walk home with their new parents. Happiness...An emotion I hadn't felt in a long, long time.
    tab "When I finally turned 18, I was no longer up for adoption. I was left to wander the streets...Alone...Like always.
    tab "Throughout it all, though, there was only one person I could think of. The only person in the world who still loved me. You. You were out there, somewhere, and I needed to find you.
    tab "I spent the next couple years, working off some money just for a small place to live. The smallest apartment I've ever seen. But I couldn't ask for any more. After all I had done, this was more than I deserved.
    tab "Then, I scrapped up information. I needed to find you. I needed comfort. For a long time, there was no luck. Then, about a week ago, I stumbled upon something. A piece of paper on the ground caught my eyes.
    tab "It was a list. A list of the people going to a particular Christmas party. And your name...Your name was on it."
    tab "That was..." I said slowly. "That was pretty lucky."
    tab "Yes," she agreed. "And I did not throw away this lucky, spur of the moment. Quickly, I threw together just enough money for a taxi ride there. And...and now...all I want is a mutual feeling." She lightly touched my hand. I felt myself jitter uneasily as she nervously leaned across the table.
    tab "Please..." she whispered quietly. "Don't hold back. This is something...this is something I need." I'm still not quite sure exactly what happened, but when all's said and done, I know this much:
    tab Our lips touched. Just for a couple seconds, but they touched.
    tab I quickly turned away, feeling an unbearable load of guilt on my conscious.
    tab "This...this is wrong." She frowned in confusion and disappointment.
    tab "Why?" My eyebrows shot up the moment she said that. Did she just not understand, or was she ignorant?
    tab "You mean you don't know?"
    tab "Don't know what?"
    tab "Sarah and I, we're..." And just at the right moment to break up the awkwardness, my cell phone rang.