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Running to the very back of the yard, I dropped to the ground near the fence separating my yard and the cornfield behind it. I started to dig, trying to hide the jagged blade in my hand. When I finally covered its black handle with dirt, I relaxed. It was safely buried away where no one could find it ever again.
A strange feeling came over me then. A feeling of deja vu. I've done something like this before, buried something. I slowly walked toward the corner of my small field, letting my memory lead me. I went on my knees, digging with my hands to uncover what was there.
What I uncovered was a plain wooden box. Time had done its work upon the box, making it fall apart in my hands. I pushed aside the boards and the dirt to reveal what I had long ago forgot. Well, not forgot, but repressed from my memory. I had all but forgotten what had happened so long ago.
In the disintegrating wooden box lay the rotting skeleton corpse of a little girl, no more than five or six. It was my twin sister. I remembered it all in a rush of emotion and tears. It was an accident! We were just playing together. Just a couple of little girls! I never meant to kill her. I never thought that she would end up hurt in our game. She fell to the ground and I thought that she was just playing, just playing dead to win the game. It never occurred to me that what I had done to her killed her. I didn't know she would be hurt!
After I realized that she was gone, that she was dead, I hid her. I was more than terrified of what my father would do if he found out. I thought it my duty as her twin and best friend to give her a special funeral. I found an old wooded box that used to hold our toys and put her inside. Luckily, it was large and she was small. I grabbed some flowers from the flower bed and put them in her hands. I grabbed a shovel and started to dig in the corner of our little field, far away from any eyes. I was too small to know it then, but digging by myself would have taken many hours. Another stroke of luck happened that day. Where I had been digging there were tunnels from the groundhogs that lived under the shed. In less then an hour I had a large enough space to put her in and put more than half a foot of dirt on top. I grabbed a bunch of leaves from the pile right next to the grave and covered the barren ground. The rest of the dirt I threw over the fence into the thick corn. It would be ages before this spot would be clear again.
When I remembered these things, I wept even louder. I begged for her forgiveness. ''I never meant to hurt you! Please forgive me! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! I never meant to hide you away either. I was just too young to know what to do. I-I would trade you in a second if I only knew how. I-I've never forgotten you. I always r-remember you at least a little. I always will! I--'' I broke on my words. I sobbed for hours. The guilt and the pain was too much. How could I have done such a thing and HIDE it? I should have taken whatever punishment came with it, even if that meant death. It SHOULD have meant death. Why should I continue to live when I sister was not allowed the privilege? Even if it had been an accident, I could not bear to live another haunted moment in the world.
Next thing I knew, there was someone near me. No longer was I kneeling at the grave of my sister, but in a dark room. I was facing my sister. Not the corpse of the girl that I had killed in childhood games but the young woman she would have become if she were allowed to live and grow like a normal girl. I was silenced from the presence of the ghost, never had it been so bad that I saw something like this. Maybe I would catch a whisper or see something out of the corner of my eye, but never appearing right before me, obviously knowing I was there and that I knew she knew I was there. I lost it, every bit of sanity that I had ever had left me. I wept and gasped, repeating all the things that I had said at the forsaken burial place. My sister did not look angry, but had the most tender look of compassion on her face.
She reached for me and I could feel her as I felt the clothes on my back. She held me close and stroked my hair. ''It's okay, beloved sister, it's okay. I forgive you. Please do not feel guilty, you meant no harm. We were just kids playing together. It could have easily been you in my place. Please do not fear me. I mean you no harm, sister. I only want to relieve you of your pain.'' I sobbed still, but a different kind of sob. I was still upset, but I was also relieved that she had said these things. If I were to not be looked favorably upon by God, then at least I was still loved by someone. I hugged her close, knowing that our time was limited.
After I had quieted down, I moved away from her to see an almost exact copy of me. She truly was my twin. She reached for my face, tenderly touching my cheek, but the feeling of her skin was different. Soon, parts of her started to melt off it seemed. She was wasting away, turning back into the corpse of the girl. The rotting body reached down to my neck with both hands and squeezed with an inhuman force. I tried to pull the hand away, but I could not find the strength to fight. The skeletal hands choked the air out of my lungs and then it all faded to black....
- by missyrocksurlife |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 02/02/2010 |
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- Title: Nightmare from 1-28-09
- Artist: missyrocksurlife
- Description: Nightmare from January 28th 2009. No, I did not actually kill my twin sister. I don't have a twin. It was just a creepy nightmare that upset me, so I wrote it out to make me feel better.
- Date: 02/02/2010
- Tags: nightmare january
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