• Two days later I was sitting at home studying while Alexander wrote an essay he had to do for his collem in the school's weekly paper.
    But I felt like I had forgotten something. Something more important then me declairing that I cared for Alexander. It had to do with another person... It was personal... And it had something to do with a woman... Hold on a second... I'll remember it...
    I sighed and leaned back in my chair. "What am I forgetting?" I ask outloud. "Is it that I need to do laundry?"
    Alexander smiled. "Nope. I did it for you. It's in a hamper in your room on your bed."
    I smiled and patted his head. "Aw. Thanks. You are so helpful."
    "No problem." He says going back to focusing on his paper.
    I put my head on my hand which rested on my knee and thought harder. "What was it? It has something to do with today or tommorow... I know it... But what?" I ask tapping my chin with my finger.
    There was a sudden rapping on my door, causing me to stand up and walk over to the noise. "Yes?"
    "It's Karin." Say's a sweet beautiful voice that I have memorized.
    I gasped, unable to move and felt my heart stop.
    Karin! That's who I had been forgetting! S***!
    Karin was my fiance` and we had been planning a spring wedding. He hadn't told her parents yet, because we wanted to surprise them over Christmas break with our big news. But now what?
    My stomach and gut filled with guilt knowing I had betrayed her. I had gone behind her back and forgotten about her. The worst thing I could do. And with a man as well... How disgusting of me. God will never forgive me, I think reaching for the door knob.
    Alexander looks up in confusion. "Who's that?"
    I swallowed and opened the door. "Hey, Karin. I forgot you were coming." I say feeling my stomach tighten when I saw her gorgeous face smiling at me, the room seemed to get brighter as her smile widened, revealing her white teeth.
    "Thanks... I feel so special when you tell me that you forgot I was coming over." She laughed coming inside the dorm. She see's Alexander and tilts her head. "Having a friend over?"
    I nodded and put my arm around her shoulders. "Ah. Yeah. He needed help on something so I let him come over." I lie feeling myself feel even more horrible.
    Alexander's face seems confused and blank, like none of this was going through his cute head.
    S***... Alexander, please don't say anything. Please, I beg of you. I plead in my head.
    Karin waved. "Hello, I'm Karin. Mirumi's fiance`." She say's holding her arm out generously.
    Alexander sat back and almost dropped his things on the floor. "Fiance`?"
    She nodded. "Yeah. We'll be tied together in the spring or early summer. We haven't narrowed down on a date yet... So, we'll tell you when we do." She smiled, thinking this wasn't anything that could break him.
    Alexander looked up at me, seeking the truth in this.
    I swallowed and looked away from him.
    He nodded and smiled, well tried to, I knew it wasn't a real smile. His eyes were pained and filling with what looked like tears. "Oh. I'm happy for you. I hope everything goes smoothly. I would love to come to your wedding, Mirumi." He say's standing up and starting to gather his things.
    I nodded back to him and put my head against Karin's.
    Karin was a sweet smart girl that put everyone else before herself. I had never seen her cry in sadness before, she was strong and well behaved. I had never seen her hit anyone or even curse. So I knew my mom would like her. And she was a real good cook and very pretty, so that would be good for raising a family. It would apease my few family members for a while. So I decided she was going to be mine. She had even told me that she couldn't see herself with anyone else other then me. I felt the words were heart warming and rewarded her with a sweet kiss and a hug.
    But now what? What was I going to do? Would I ever tell her about what me and Alexander had done behind her back? Or would I keep her in the dark and keep her from getting hurt?
    Alexander sniffled and wrubbed the back of his hand on his nose. "Well, you two obviously need some alone time, so I'll leave you two for now. I had fun, Mirumi. I'll see you in class." He says retreating for the door.
    My body and mouth moved without my own approval. "Hold on a second, Karin. I just need to discuss something with Alexander. Would you wait here for a second, dear?" I ask walking away from her before I could even get an answer.
    Alexander was out the door already and running for his own dorm.
    I grabbed his sleeve and heard the door close. "Alexander!" I boom.
    He yanked his arm away and shot a death glare at me before retreating again.
    I narrowed my eyes and ran after him, yet again. "Knock it off! Let me explain!" I bark grabbing his shoulder and pulling harshly.
    He gasped and his things fell to the floor in a large pill. He stared down at his things as if I had dropped a baby on it's head.
    I put my hands on his shoulders and growled. "Alexander?"
    He looked up at me, tears in his eyes and a look on a face that could only resemble a hurt puppies gaze.
    I sighed. "I'm sorry."
    He blinked. "Neh?"
    I glared at him. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to drag you into this. I forgot all about her when I met you... I didn't mean to f*** up your feelings... And I really didn't mean to actually start liking you... I thought you would be a nice friend or something... Not... lover."
    He looked at the floor. "Why didn't you tell me you were going to get married?" He asks his voice cracking.
    I swallowed. "I forgot about her. After I met you everything got messed up and all I could think about was you and I didn't even know she was coming over. I usual go over to her house, but she calls first to let me know her house is clean... But I guess I said she could come over to my place this time... I don't know. I can't even think right now!" I spit.
    He hugged his stomach and a tear fell down from his chin to his chest. "Then what do I do? Do we just stop talking or what?"
    I shrugged and pinched the bridge of my nose. "I don't know... But I don't think we should be seen for a while, just in case if anyone saw us or may have picked up any vibes... Just so I don't embaress Karin or anything. I could never hurt that girl. She's been too nice to me."
    He nodded. "Okay. But... Can we ever love each other again?" He ask's as more tears form in his eyes.
    I sighed. "No. I'm sorry, Alexander. But it's for what's best for Karin and for me and you. I didn't mean for this to happen."
    He shrugged and tried to smile again. "It's okay. Two guys loving each other isn't meant to be a forever thing anyway."
    I nodded. "Thank you for understand and not telling Karin about this."
    He nodded and wrubbed his arms like he was cold. "It's okay. I understand. Hey, will you come by tonight? I still need to interview you for the school's paper."
    I smiled and nodded. "Sure. Around seven thirty okay? I'm going out with Karin, we have a weekly date night thing. She thinks it's what every distanced couple should do."
    He smirked and bent down, picking up his fallen things. "Sounds like a smart idea." He stood back up and looked at the floor. "But I wouldn't know..."
    "Mirumi~! Are you done talking to your friend yet?" Karin calls from down the hall.
    I turned around and waved. "Yeah. We're done. I'll be there in a second, okay?" I say.
    She nodded and smiled like angel.
    I turned back around to Alexander and sighed contently.
    Alexander sniffled and whiped a few tears away from his eyes with his free hand. "I should go. You have to attend to your previous engagment." He says turning away to leave.
    I nodded. "See ya." I say turning away and heading over to Karin.
    Karin seemed worried about something as I met up with her. "Is he alright? He seemed upset about something."
    I smiled. "He's just shy. I'm sure after a while he'll start to like you, Karin-chan." I say kissing her cheek.
    She blushed and giggled. "Let's go before anyother of your friends show up and request help from my lovely man." She said.

    That night we ate out at a local bar and I didn't notice it was the one I had been to with Alexander until it was close to time for me to be leaving.
    Karin sighed and looked at her watch. "Well, I have to go. I have work tommorow and you have to study or something, huh?"
    I nodded. "Yeah... I hate having to be away from you so much..." I think out loud.
    She giggled and put her cold hand on my cheek. "Aw. You are such a ladies man."
    I smirked and felt myself get sick as I thought about how badly I had betrayed her, and she didn't even know I had even touched another human being inaproprietly. I am the worst type of person there is... I think pulling away from her and standing up. "I should get going."
    She nodded and took no notice of how uncomfortable and stiff I had gotten. "Yeah. I'll see you soon, okay?" She says standing up and putting on her jacket.
    I smiled. "Yeah."
    "I love you." She says going out the bar's front door and disapearing.
    My stomach gets tight and inflated at her words. I sit back down and order a drink from the bartender.
    He smiles at me. "Hey, your Alex's friend aren't you?" He says.
    I nodded. "Yeah...?"
    He grinned. "I'm another one of his friends. I give him alcohol, even though he's only like eighteen."
    Eighteen!?
    I blinked. "He's that young?" I say grabbing the drink the man had passed me and downing it quickly.
    He chuckled. "Yeah. Amazing, huh? I thought he was a girl at first. I mean, he looks like an american girl you see in those dirty magazines all over the place, right?"
    I laughed and passed the shot glass back to him, requesting more. "Yeah."

    The conversation went on till I was rather buzzed and was starting to feel light headed.
    We had talked about how beautiful Alexander would be if he was a woman.
    And suddenly the news that I had made love to him spilled out and the mans face went red. He began asking all these odd questions about how he did this and where he touched that.
    I ended up changing the subject and then leaving quickly. I turned off the cars engine and walked to Alexander's dorm. I knocked and heard, "Come in." I opened the door and stumbled in.
    Alexander's eyes are red and his face is swollen.
    He was crying again?
    I blink at him confused. "What's wrong?"
    He shook his head and hugged his legs tighter. Alexander was sitting on his tan couch with his head on his knee's and his arms wrapped around his legs. "Oh. Nothing. I'm just alittle sick. Come in and sit down. I need to interveiw you for sensei." He says sniffling.
    I shut the door and walked to the couch, sitting next to him.
    He seemed to get uncomfortabe and scooted farther down the couch, putting more room between us.
    I looked at the floor. "You aren't sick. You were crying." I state. "Why?"
    He looked off to the corner of the room. "I wasn't. I got a small cold because we were out in the cold when we were at the market."
    I shook my head. "Your lying. I can tell. Tell me why you were crying." I order.
    He shook his head and covered his ears with his hands. "No."
    I grabbed his arms and tried to pull them away from his head. "Come on, tell me. You trust me, don't you?" I plea.
    He shook his head again and sniffled. "No! I don't trust you! Get off me!" He hisses.
    I growled and pushed him down on the couch, straddling him, so he can't get away.
    He gasped and looked up at me.
    I pulled his arms away from his head and pushed them against the cushion near his face. "There! Now tell me!" I order.
    He swallowed. "I... "
    I narrowed my eyes. "What?"
    "I hate Karin..." He growles.
    I blinked. "Wha...?"
    He sneered. "I hate Karin. I hate her. She's rotten garbage."
    I glared at him. "That's my fiance` your talking about!"
    He struggled, trying to get up. "I don't care! I hate that b****!"
    I growled and pushed his hands into the couch harder.
    He winced and stopped moving. "Ouchy."
    I smirked. "Why would you hate her so much?"
    He blushed, but didn't let his angered stare faulter. "She's taken you from me. I can never forgive her for that. I was crying because she had you all to herself, and I can't do anything about it. I hate that she found you before I did. I probably want you more then she does. She doesn't even look at you like I do."
    I felt my glasses fall down a ways. "That's why? You hate her because I care for her too?"
    He swallowed. "Obviously. I wanted to scream at her in the hallway when she said your name in that annoying tone. How can she have you all to herself when she's so annoying?"
    I smiled. "You are so adorable." I blurt.
    He looked up at me, astonished.
    I blushed, realizing what I had said without thinking.
    He pulled his arms away and put them around my neck.
    I shook my head and scowled at him. "Alexander, you know I can't do that with you anymore." I warn.
    He nodded and pulled my face closer. "Then let me do it all on my own. You can blame it on me." He whispered.
    I tried to pull away, but he clung to me like a scab. "Alexander." I growl.
    He put his lips on mine and the sound of a kiss filled the room.
    I blushed and my body froze.
    He kissed me again.
    Don't do it, Misumi... Don't. You'll regret it. I think feeling tempted to kiss him back.
    His tongue rolled along my lips, begging for a reply.
    My pants suddenly felt tight and a lump grew in my throat.
    Alexander pulled away, his eyes misty. "Mirumi. Please, do something." He begged.
    I swallowed and felt myself seem to melt. I pushed him back down on the couch with my hand on his chest and my lips only a few cenimeters from his warm lips.
    He panted and bit my lower lip tenderly.
    I smiled. "I really shouldn't be doing this. I mean, the alcohol's really getting to my head and I can't think straight. And I'm feeling the pressure of midterm tests coming up. So I'm confused." I say.
    Alexander nodded. "Oh, yeah. I understand. It's all my fault. I'm sorry, Mirumi. I should have told you to stop drinking." He smiled kissing me softly.
    I laughed and slid my hand up his shirt wrubbing over his warm soft skin.
    He stiffened and put his hand over mine. "Mnah! I hate Karin so much!" He panted.
    I smiled and gave him a comforting kiss. "I know."