• Ted rode up to Derek upon his fiery, demonic steed, Diablo. He looked down at Derek, who simply stared back. "Er... Derek, where's your steed? We gotta go now." Ted exclaimed, point his massive sword towards the horizon. Even as they spoke a tide of demons was surging across the plains towards them. "I didn't get one. Where did you get your's?" Derek replied as he looked Diablo up and down. Before Ted could reply, there was the sudden sound of an explosion as Skittles rained down upon them.

    From the cloud of sparkling pixie dust that had erupted infront of them emerged a small blue pony. The pony had a rainbow mane and a tattoo of a rainbow upon it's hip. As it trotted gayly towards them, pixie dust, rainbows and the occasional Skittle followed in it's wake. Derek foresaw what was about to happen and held his head in his hands "Oh God no...: But it was inevitably, the pony stopped before him and said "Heeeeey, Derek! I'm your steed, Sparkles! You can ride me all day long!" Sparkles cheered as he spoke. Ted snickered as he ate some Skittles. Derek turned on him "What are you laughing at?! You're eating a** Skittles!" Ted stopped chewing, pondered the remark, then continued chewing. He looked down at his own steed "Diablo, what falls our of your a**?" "Death and destruction!" Diablo roared in response. Ted smiled "Good boy, you're not gay like other steeds." Derek glared at Ted then back at Sparkles, who let out a small Skittle-filled fart, which covered the ground in the rainbow candy.

    Ted scooped up the Skittles, popped them in his mouth and turned to face Derek. "Hurry up and MOUNT your steed, Derek." He heaved emphasis on the word "mount" as he turned Diablo and rode off towards the ocean of demon-spawn that was roaring ever closer. Derek turned to face Sparkles and the gay little pony winked at him. "Come on, mount me, hurry." Sparkles said as he licked his lips. Derek sighed and looked the pony over "Wait... Where's your saddle?" Derek asked. Sparkles trodded close and whispered softly to Derek "I go bare-back, baby." Derek put his head in his hands and let out a groan. Reluctantly, Derek pulled himself onto the back of Sparkles and realized he was missing something else. "Do you come with an awesome weapon like Ted's horse does?" Derek asked. Sparkles soon began grunting and straining untill a small fart come out of his butt. As Skittles fell to the ground, Derek noticed something that made him wish he had never asked his previous question.

    Sticking out of Sparkles' butt was the hilt of a weapon. The pony turned to him and smiled "Pull it out all slow-like, baby." Derek forced down the baby barf that had risen to his throat and looked up to the horde of demons. Ted was already cleaving into the horde and having a blast. Derek was tired of missing out. and if that meant pulling a sword out of a pony's a**, then so be it. He took ahold of the hilt and began to pull. As he slid the weapon out, Sparkles began to moan. "Can you quit moaning?! This is hard enough." "It's no the only thing that is hard." Derek forced down another wave of barf and yanked the weapon out of Sparkles' Skittle-hole. "OH YES!" The pony yelled. Derek looked at the weapon he now weilded. He wanted to cry. In his hand was a rainbow-colored pixie wand. Embedded along the length of the wand were Skittles. Derek looked at the weapon and noticed a flaw. "Hey, brown isn't in the rainbow." Skittles dropped out of Skittles' a** as he looked up at Derek "Well, you did pull it out of my naughty hole, you sexy beast." This time Derek could not hold it down and he leanded sideways and purged his stomach of lunch and breakfast.

    Sparkles began to eat Derek's bile before Derek smacked him "Quit that!" Derek excalimed. Skittles giggled and said "Keep smacking me like that and I will do whatever you want, baby." Derek groaned again and looked up towards the horde "Let's go help, Ted. Charge!" Derek held up his battle-wand as he roared his battle cry. Sparkles began to gallop towards Ted as he screamed his own battle cry "For gay pride!... and Skittles!" Another groan escaped Derek's mouth as he rode up next to Ted who truned to face him "Glad the lovely couple decided to join me." He smirked and Derek opened his mouth to reply but Skittles cut him off. "Sorry, he was moaning me and pulling his big ol' weapon out of my a**!" Ted tried his hardest not to laugh but he almost fell out of his saddle as he roared his amusement. "Ted, you couldn't have kept a straight face?" Derek pleaded. "You're one to talk about keeping straight." Ted replied through his laughter, and Sparkles giggled "Oooooh, burn!" Derek ignored both of them and turned his attention to the demons. One stepped within his range and he swung his fairy wand towards the demon's head. The demon saw the attack coming but, instead of dodging, he simply fell to the ground holding his sides as laughter exploded from his mouth. Derek stopped mid-swing and looked at the demon "What are you laughing at?!" This is an epic weapon!" The demon looked up at Derek through tear-filled eyes and said "Epicly gay!" before his laughter took his voice away once again. Derek grew angry and slammed his wand into the demon's head. Instantly, there was an explosion of pixie dust that obscured the demon from sight.

    When the dust cleared, a man was standing where the demon had been. The man was wearing no clothes, other then a leopard thong, and he wore his hair in a pony-tail. "What the hell?" Derek blurted out as Skittles gently fell to the ground out of the man's a**. Sparkles turned and looked at the man. "Derek, you learned how to use the Gay-anator 2000!" Sparkles shouted happily. Over the sound of combat, Ted's roaring laughter could be heard. Derek looked at the wand in his hand and mumbled "It's going to be a long story.."