• Eternity…

    That’s what they call it right. That foolish assumption that one day the word ‘life’ will have no more meaning. That our essence will have no limit; capacity. Why do people even dream of such a foolish outcome? There are two ways to live out our being, survive or be caught in the sly hands of death. Man cannot even attempt to understand this and yet they seek the impossible. It is, to put it simply, unreachable.

    You may mock me for my words; throw them back at my face. Yet, please come to understand; the living die, always. It is a curse put on us for tainting this world as we know it. Only gods and devils can rule as forever. I do wonder still, why me. I who had always believed in nothing but thyself. I who had killed ruthlessly, understanding that we had no right to call our being ours. Did I become foolish, like so many others?

    Because, as I lay here dying, I hope that I could have done one thing. Believed, just like others. Believe in the words that others preached. Believed that the sun truly was an immaculate thing. Believed that my life had meaning. I wish I could have believed in that unattainable ‘eternity’. You could say, for once, I wished to be a fool like everyone else. Unfortunately, the impossible will always be just that, impossible.

    Soaking my hands with so much blood, yet somehow never relishing the feel. Taking lives was what my being was for, right? So why, why did my being become my demise. Ever since my beginning I found killing to be drive to live. Those who defied me were to be always disposed of. Those who were enemies were drained of existence. Those who tried to help me eventually led their own deaths to come. In the end, did my own self kill me?

    Fools fear death, but I feared it too; am I now a fool? Idiots make assumptions, but I assumed; am I just like them? Imbeciles lie to themselves, but I lied to; am I such now? At my last moment, my last breath, I relish on the one strand of hope I have left.

    The forgiven believe in eternity, and so did I; am I now forgiven?