• CHAPTER 166 - I'VE SEEN BETTER DAYS

    There have always been sunny days and there could be sunnier days ahead. Unless you live my life. It's all a ball of madness.

    Once again, I woke up alone in a commodious bed with a darkened room from the curtains being drawn shut. I didn't know how long I had slept; the alarm clock was missing from the bed and there was no sense of time from the sunlight. After I rubbed my eyes and sat up, I began to panic after finally realizing I was alone. Kai, did he leave again?

    My heart rate slowed down a little after I could hear Kira's voice--but it was a little stern. I couldn't make out the muffled words from beyond the bedroom door. Groaning, I laced my fingers through my hair and curled up on my side. My head was throbbing even more. I had to quit worrying so much; Kai was back and it would only make me sicker if I continued to worry.

    "You don't put somebody through something like that!" Kira blustered, causing me to flinch.

    I knew Kai had to be in the house; who else would Kira be yelling at? I climbed off of the bed and tiptoed over to the door with every step hurting my head further. Pressing my ear against the door, I could never hear Kai talking but Kira was constantly lecturing Kai. There were a couple more times where Kira shouted at Kai and that was the final straw for me--especially after Kira called Kai an unfaithful lover.

    I stepped out of the bedroom with tears gathering in my eyes and I gripped my hair again, staring at the feuding brothers, "Stop, just stop," I cried. "You're making my head ache. It hurts."

    Both Kai and Kira's faces shifted to panic as they stared at me. I closed my eyes and bowed my head; I hated to hear them fighting. None of this was Kai's fault; it wasn't necessarily his choice to leave. Or, at least, that's what I wanted to believe.

    "Arisa, whether it was intentional or not, I can't forgive him for never contacting you," Kira sighed. "Had he stayed away another day, you'd probably be sick in the hospital."

    "Just stop," I pleaded, walking towards Kai. "You two shouldn't be fighting."

    "How is your head?" Kai changed the subject. "Do you need aspirin?"

    I shook my head and reached for Kai's arm immediately. As soon as I grasped his forearm, he roughly withdrew and took a few steps away from me. Instead of crying, I sighed deeply and slumped my shoulders. The pain was even more intense. He would normally just flinch but that time, he stepped away from me. Kira glared at Kai for a second and it shifted to sorrow.

    "Kai, you need rest," I pleaded. "You haven't slept in days."

    Kai sighed, not even bothering to argue. He kissed my forehead, "I love you," he whispered and entered his bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

    Kira looked down at me in concern, "Did anything happen between you two?"

    I shook my head, "No. I just had a nightmare." I sighed. I still never told Kira about my nightglares. He'd surely panic.

    The tears started gathering in my eyes again and I ran one of my hands through my hair. I looked away before the tears could spill out but it was much too late. They ran down my flushed cheeks silently and Kira pulled me into an embrace. I never sobbed out loud, but there were plenty of tears to make up for it. I was so discombobulated; I still felt sick from worry about Kai and my head had been throbbing for days, especially since the nightglare I had.

    "I'm not going to stand to lose you, Arisa," Kira mumbled, pressing his face against the side of my head. "I refuse to lose anybody else."

    My heart was twisting and turning and was on the verge of combustion. I continued to keep my arms limp at my side as Kira's embrace tightened a little more. My headache was really getting to me; I felt dizzy, light and nauseous. As soon as Kira pulled back, I leaned against the wall for a second and collapsed onto the ground. Kira cupped my face and was--presumably--calling my name but I couldn't hear him. There was a high-pitched ring in my ears and my vision was blurring. I was so tired. All I wanted to do was sleep and allow the earth to swallow me whole.

    ~*~*~*~*~*~

    I could feel a pair of delicate, cold fingers brushing my bangs off of my forehead. A cold hand pressed against my forehead and I took a deep breath. My head was on somebody's lap, but whose? Opening my eyes, I saw Kira above me. My head was on his lap and his hand was on my forehead. There was a cold, wet washcloth on my neck and another halfway down my shirt.

    "I apologize if you're uncomfortable," Kira smiled weakly, "but I had to reduce your fever."

    I sighed and closed my eyes, "Thank you," I opened my eyes again. "How long was I asleep?"

    "Nearly nine hours," he chuckled lightly. "You really need the sleep."

    "Where's Kai?"

    "Still sleeping," Kira confirmed. "I didn't want him to know you fell ill."

    I removed the washcloths from my skin and sat up. After pulling myself together, I hopped off of the couch and was overcome by dizziness. My legs gave in again and I collapsed, only to land in Kira's arms rather than the ground. He cursed under his breath and helped me stand again by wrapping one of my arms around his shoulders?

    "What are you doing?" he asked.

    "I'm getting something to eat," I sighed. "I'm starving."

    "Then sit down and I'll get it for you," Kira offered. "You're too weak to walk yet."

    "But I'll never get stronger until I try, right?" I huffed.

    Kira stared at me for a moment and then looked ahead as we headed into the kitchen, "I suppose,"

    "Your brother is an idiot," I reiterated. "He didn't have to run away. He could have simply cooled himself off rather than make me sick with worry after dropping off the face of the earth."

    "No matter how many times we lecture him, we can't undo what's been done," Kira sighed. "Perhaps he had no choice but to leave."

    "Probably," I shrugged as I sat on one of the stools at the breakfast bar. "The contract makes him do everything he doesn't want to. And it's not even at its strongest point."

    "You don't deserve this," Kira hissed. "And neither does Kai. Neither of you deserve to suffer as you have. You two did nothing wrong."

    After that, the rest of the moment was silent. Kira prepared me a small snack of two onigiris and a side of ramen noodles and I ate it all in silence as he sat next to me and watched me, making sure I ate every scrap. I wasn't so hungry once I started eating my food, but I forced myself to swallow every morsel to convince Kira and for the sake of my health. I thanked him for the meal and excused myself, making my own way upstairs. I slipped into the bathroom and noticed the pair of pajamas Kira said was laid out for me courtesy of Orihime.

    As I was showering, I started thinking deeply. If all I ever did was unintentionally hurt Kai every time we would make skin contact, what would the point be of living in the same home still? Maybe I should stay with Matsuda and Orihime again while Kai goes back home? No, I couldn't do that; Kai would probably convince Matsuda to book a flight to Europe for the next day.

    As all of that was running through my head, I didn't hear the shower door open. The only thing that knocked me out of my train of thought were a pair of familiar, broad, cold, perfectly sculpted arms wrapping around my stomach. I gasped for a moment but calmed down; it was Kai. His lips pressed against my left ear and he kissed my ear lobe.

    "How are you feeling?" he whispered.

    "Better," I whispered back, though I could barely hear myself over the water. "How was your sleep?"

    "Rejuvenating," he mumbled, "but not enough."

    I looked down and something caught my eye. I grabbed Kai's left wrist and held it up so I could see it better. I was only able to catch a small, faint glimpse of some sort of mark before Kai withdrew his hand. Turning around, Kai's face showed he was in pain--either physically, mentally or both. The mark on his wrist must have been the symbol of the contract. The mark he was forcefully bound to--that he couldn't break.

    The tears started rolling down my already wet cheeks, "Why?"

    Kai pulled me into an embrace and I wrapped my arms around him as tight as I could physically manage at that moment. He flinched a little but continued to keep his embrace strong. We had never been so miserable, never in our thirteen months together. We could hardly touch each other anymore; it hurt Kai too much. Kai's arms moved down to my waist and my arms went around his neck and he touched his forehead to mine. I cracked my wet eyes open and gazed into his incredibly deep topaz eyes. Eyes of depression.

    "Don't look at me like that," I pleaded. "Don't look so sad."

    Kai closed his eyes, "Once you clear up your depressed complexion, I'll clear mine,"

    "I don't believe you," I shook my head. "I've done that before and you've still been depressed."

    "I'll attempt my hardest," he whispered and held me closer.

    "I love you so much," I closed my eyes and pressed my forehead harder against his. "Please promise me you won't leave again."

    Kai answered with silence at first, "I can't guarantee the contract won't make me next time I injure you,"

    Without a response, I turned off the shower and hopped out. I grabbed two towels and handed one to Kai. Kai merely draped his towel behind his neck and grabbed mine to dry my hair for me. My heart slowly started to rise as Kai cracked a tiny smile and kissed my forehead. I cracked my own smile as well and his grew just a little bit more. He kissed my lips and draped the towel around my neck as well.

    "I'll admit something...to lighten your mood..." I started. I looked up at Kai and smiled weakly. "I'm not afraid to be naked around you anymore."