• CHAPTER 3
    My dream shifted then. I was in front of my locker at Strafford High, my school. The hall was empty and the hands on the clock were spinning out of control. I looked around and saw Matt at the end of the hall, which was weird because the sophomores had their own building separate from us, the juniors. He just looked at me with a longing look. Oh how I’ve missed those blue eyes. I walked towards him but no matter how much I walked, the distance between us didn’t seem to shorten. “Matt?” He tilted his head and furrowed his brows as if I were speaking another language. “Matt?” I repeated. His brows shot up in understanding and he smiled. I began walking again. This time I got to him and in less than three seconds, we were caught in an embrace. Tears of joy flowed from my eyes because whatever went wrong, it was all okay now. I nuzzled my face in his chest and he began kissing my head. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he tightened his grip on my waist. He kissed my forehead, my eyes, and my cheek, wiping away the tears. “Oh Matt…” I whispered and he kissed me full on the lips. Then I heard the sound of someone letting themselves in.

    After that, I was somewhere between sleep and consciousness when I felt my body getting hot. I kissed him back and he grabbed my head, his fingers snaking smoothly through my hair, pressing me against him. Then it all went black. I still felt his lips on mine. I still felt his breath brushing against my neck. I still felt the aftereffect his kisses left on my skin. I still felt the pleasurable Goosebumps that appeared everywhere he touched. I still felt my heated body. But I was… awake. I felt guilty for having such thoughts towards my brother. I opened my eyes and I was engulfed by the darkness still. I looked down and saw a silhouette cradling my body. I froze. He kissed my shoulder and went up for my lips but froze when he saw that my eyes were opened. I gasped. Those blue eyes. Those rich, royal blue eyes were penetrating deep into mine. Matt looked at me as if weighing his options and then, slowly, almost invitingly, he leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine in the most passionate of ways. I stayed still as his lips invaded mine. My mind refused to believe it but once it registered what was going on it went berserk yet my body begged for his contact. His touch felt desirable. Never had my body ached so much for contact. My hands clutched the sheets as my conscience began yelling me the wrongs and right of what was going on yet they struggled to be free. He pulled back, took a breath, and then kissed me again. I was still not responding. “Jade…” He said in a longing whisper. My resolve broke and my hands began roaming his bare back. I pushed his head against mine and kissed him as a moan escaped my lips. I felt a smile spread on his face and I blushed. I’m glad it was dark and that the air conditioner was on. His hand traveled down my waist and under my knee as he flipped me over and I was on top of him. In this position, I felt his arousal. I didn’t hesitate. I grabbed his neck and crushed my lips to his. When I pulled away, Matt chuckled, something I hadn’t heard in six years. “Eager much?” He asked. Suddenly we heard a pair of heavy footsteps –unlike mom’s quick stride- approach our door and we instantly froze but then they faded away to the distance. We released a tense sigh and chuckled. I looked into Matt’s eyes, the only thing I could see in this overwhelming darkness. His smile slowly faded and his expression softened. “I missed you.” He said softly as if he’d been practicing those words for a long time. Those words triggered my tears. He kissed them away. “I missed you. I missed you. I missed you.” He repeated quietly with each kiss. I sniffed and wiped my tear away.
    “Me too.” I kissed him and looked up. My phone showed I had received a text message from James. I hadn’t realized what I’d done until now. It dawned on me what I had just done. I felt instantly guilty for desiring my brother the way I had despite being in a relationship. I got off of him and stood up. I swore under my breath and flicked on the lamp, accidently spilling the glass of water. I looked at him and a million questions flew through my mind. I’ve waited for this day for the last six years and this is what happens? I took inventory of my feelings and thought and came up with hefty conclusion.

    Matt looked down. He was sitting on my bed. He began apologizing softly, so soft, I wasn’t sure he was apologizing to me. Truth is I was the one who should be apologizing. Apologize for whatever I did all those years ago. Apologize for having lustful thoughts about him. Apologize for… not feeling guilty about what had just happened. I felt guilty for not feeling guilty. Apologize for wanting him in the most forbidden way. Silence drowned us. He just kept shaking his head in denial, in shame. I remembered the kiss he’d given me when he saw I was awake. It was soft, slow, but most of all, inviting. And I… agreed.

    I flicked off the light and sauntered over to him.
    “Huh?” was all I heard before I hugged him and pushed him back down.