• CHAPTER 2








    The Lewis’ home doorbell rings the next afternoon.

    “One minute!” Peter called out. He hurries to the door and opens it. Before him was a young blonde girl, around the age of 21 was standing there with her hair hanging down her shoulder. Her hair, tied in a half-pony tail, and she was carrying a large platter with cut up sandwiches.

    “Andrea!” Peter said, happy to see her, “nice to see you.”

    Andrea put a smile on her face. “Hi Peter, good to see you too! I just thought I would drop by and stay for a little bit.” Andrea was going out with Brandon for six years. Andrea was really hurt when he died, so Andrea tried her best to be there for Stephanie; like a big sister.

    “Of course,” Peter replied, “let me just take this off your hands” he grabbed the platter from her and let her inside.

    “Thanks” Andrea said, smiling. She sees Martha coming from downstairs. “Hi Martha, it’s good to see you!”

    “Oh, hi Andrea!” she said, very happy to see her, “what brings you here?”

    “Well,” Andrea answered, “I wanted to come by to see how everyone was doing. I’m also really worried about Stephanie. Is she doing any better?”

    Martha’s smile faded and she looked down, “The Doctor says otherwise…but we’re not losing hope. That’s really the only thing that’s keeping us alive right now.”

    “I’m sure that put Brandon happy to.” Andrea said, “That’s what he needed, hope and for us to be there for him. Even the worst happened; he died knowing we cared.”

    Throughout the years of knowing the Lewis family, Andrea had always knew that no matter what happened, good or bad, the Lewis family always stuck together. Especially with Peter and Martha, no matter what happened, they had a smile on their face.

    Peter puts the platter on the counter. “Thanks Andrea, you didn’t have to.” He said.

    “Oh, don’t worry about it, Peter.” Andrea said with a smile, “I know how much Stephanie used to inhale those things.” They all laughed. “Is she here?”

    “Yeah, she’s upstairs, why don’t you call her down?” Peter said.

    “Sure.” Andrea smiled and walks up the steps.

    She walks up the second floor and walks in front of Stephanie’s bedroom door and knocks. As she’s waiting, she looks to the left and sees Brandon’s room. Andrea refuses to go in there at times because of all the memories that were in that room. Old photographs, notes they used to pass to each other, the anniversary gifts. Seeing those would just make Andrea break down in tears.

    “Stephanie?” she called out, “it’s Andrea…” She waited for a response.

    “Just a minute.” Stephanie said from the other side of the door. The door opens and she sees Stephanie. “Hey!” Stephanie went and gave Andrea a tight hug.

    “Hey! Can I come in?” Andrea asked, smiling.

    “Of course.” Stephanie said, letting her in. Andrea walks in and Stephanie closes the door. Andrea seats herself on the desk chair and looks around.

    “Your room hasn’t changed a bit.” Andrea said, smiling, looking around. Andrea has been in Stephanie’s room a lot. They have always been close with each other. What made Andrea very happy was that Stephanie in fact did see her as an older sister.

    “Yeah, things sometimes don’t change.” Stephanie said, smiling. Stephanie sits on the bed, facing Andrea, “So how have you been?” Stephanie asked.

    “Me? I’ve been fine,” Andrea replied, “but to be honest…I’m more worried about you. With the cancer and everything…” Andrea has always been worried about Stephanie’s condition.

    Stephanie sighs and forces a smile on her face.

    “Well, I’ve been hanging in there,” Stephanie replied, “I mean, yeah it’s hard, but I’m sure my brother would want me to stay strong.”

    Andrea smiled, “I’m happy to hear that. I’m sure he’s not the only person who would want you to stay strong.” She gave Stephanie a wink.

    Instead of a smile coming on Stephanie’s face, a frown came. Andrea looks at Stephanie. “What’s wrong?” She asked.

    “It’s just…sometimes…I just think ‘Why did things have to turn out this way?” Stephanie started, “I mean…I never did anything bad, my family are good people…I just don’t understand. I don’t think I’ll ever understand.”

    “Don’t lose it now, Stephanie…” Andrea urged, “I know it’s a lot of pressure, but you can do this. Lately I’ve been seeing you down a lot and everything. This isn’t how you are…”

    “I’ve been a lot of things,” Stephanie interrupted, “Our family…was a lot of things. My parents had always told me to keep my faith in the Lord, and I have, but look where we turned out to be. I just don’t know what to believe in anymore…”

    “Stephanie…”

    “I mean, if the Lord is so good, why is he making us go through hell?” Stephanie began, “Ever since Brandon was diagnosed with cancer, not ONE thing good happened. Praying never kept my brother from dying. Praying never kept my mother from crying almost every night! I just don’t understand.”

    Andrea looks at Stephanie and said, “You don’t understand…sometimes things happen for a reason, you can be blind for that reason for a while…but you’ll find out. Just pull through…” Andrea nodded at Stephanie.

    Stephanie just looked away, and looks at the picture of her brother. “I just want this stupid cancer to go away…that’s all I’m asking for.”

    There’s a long pause. Andrea then gets up from the seat and sits next to Stephanie.

    “Miracles happen every day,” Andrea said, “All you can do is keep your head held up high…just please do that, and you’ll be okay…”

    Stephanie nods and hugs her. A knock is heard on the door, and Peter opens the door.

    “Hey, you guys ready to go? We’re going to go out to eat today…” Peter said, standing in the doorway. Stephanie and Andrea look at each other, and they both get up, and leave the room.





    Later that night we hear gagging from the bathroom in the house. Stephanie is kneeling near the toilet, puking. She stops for a minute, breathing rapidly and she vomits again. Once she’s done, she flushes the toilet, and rests herself against the wall, sitting down. She breathes heavy, sweating. Peter then knocks on the door, fast.

    “Stephanie? You ok, honey?” He knocks on the door, but Stephanie is too weak to answer. He opens the door and hurries to her. “Oh, God, here…” He helps Stephanie up, slowly and walks her out the bathroom.

    In Stephanie’s room, Peter puts the covers over her, as Stephanie is lying on her back, on the bed. Peter sits next to her, on a chair that’s in her room and looks at her. Stephanie’s eyes are closed. Peter grabs Stephanie’s hand with his. Peter wanted the cancer gone just as bad as Stephanie did, if not, more.

    “You’re going to be ok…” he said to her, as she slept away, “You’re going to be okay…”









    Four o’clock in the morning. Stephanie slowly opens her eyes, feeling pain in her back and shoulders. She groans a little and slowly sits up on her bed, moaning. She was in a lot of pain. Stephanie slowly gets out of bed, and sees a note on her desk, with a small book next to it. She squints and walks up to her desk, and picks up the note. It’s a note from her Mother. Stephanie reads the note aloud;

    “Stephanie, I know you’ve been feeling very sick, Daddy told me. I made something for you, it’s in the oven…it’ll help you feel better. Don’t forget to pray when you go back to sleep. Always remember God is with you, and-” She couldn’t even read the rest of the note. Stephanie looks at the book and picks it up. ‘Holy Bible’ it read on the cover. ‘Holy?’ Stephanie though to herself, ‘Holy…? What’s so holy about being afraid I won’t wake up every day?’ She rips up the note Martha wrote her and then throws the pieces in the garbage nearby. Stephanie then picks up the bible and something inside her body begins to snap.

    “There is no God…” Stephanie whispered to herself, “He doesn’t love me…he doesn’t love our family…he didn’t love my brother. Thanks to HIM, we’re all living like we’re in hell…” She then opens up the bible and starts ripping the pages out. “There’s no God…there’s no God…” She whispered as she began ripping the pages out faster.

    “There’s no God…! There’s no God! There’s no God!!” She began ripping more and more pages out and started ripping the torn pages in half. “There’s no such thing as God!!!” she throws the ripped up pieces of paper everywhere and knocks down her lamp that was on the desk and knocks down pictures of the whole family off her desk. She then goes and repeatedly kicks the wall until she forms a tiny crack on the wall.

    Suddenly, tears start falling down her face, as she sits herself on the bed. She cries softly to herself, holding her head with her hands. She didn’t know what to believe in anymore, she didn’t know where to turn, she just thought that praying has gotten her nowhere. Stephanie then looks to where she threw her rosary beads, it was on the floor. She quickly crawls over to it, and holds it in her hands, crying. These were the beads Brandon had given her. Stephanie had always thought Brandon kept faith for no reason.

    “Brandon…I’m so sorry…” Stephanie whispered, looking up at the ceiling. She grasps the beads with both of her hands and slowly closes her eyes. “I’m so…sorry…but I can’t do this anymore…” she then pulls and rips the rosemary beads in half, and they break. All the beads scatter on the floor and she looks down.

    “I’m sorry…” she whispered again, the tears now going away. Stephanie Lewis had officially lost all faith in the Lord.