Highschool Love story

• Artist: I Nina Kodaka I
• Description: Hey how sad it is for a big moment just a dream right?
• Date: 02/03/2010
• Tags: first story

there was a highschool freshman called Nina Kodaka
and walking by the school stairs and accidentaly being pushed by a girl
who was know by her bullies her name is tamagachi komika
then someone found nina bullied
then there he is a guy called steven and he walked and brought her to the clinic
then she(nina) never knew
that Steven was a famouse Senior on the highschool big crowdes awaited him at the corridors before they entered the clinic and
Steven kissed her
after that nina woke up and it was just a dream

Comments

[JohnFelixAnthonyCena3563]

NO s**t SHERLOCK ALL WRITING SUX

[Swagg_Mama]

that sucks

[Some King Guy]

1. Use punctuation.
2. Capitals mark the start of every sentence.
3. You seem to use the enter key every single sentence, its not necessary, you can just make it a paragraph.
4. Never, ever, ever, ever, ever... make the ending turn out to be just a dream. Its rule number one of writers etiquette.
Sorry for the harsh criticism, but every great writers gotten it at one point in their life.

[kingwater14]

Its good, but you need to work on your writing. lol. Its good enough to make the Top Rated Page. Congrats wink

[XCurapicaX]

yea michief!!
theyall are right!! dreaming! what a wonderful thing..
but when you wake all things is back to reality

[Hobbit Habit]

mischief..whats horrible?YOU!
what is horrible bout her english?nothing!
the story is very great!!! very great the description is true:
how sad it is for a big moment just a dream right?

and chibi is right:
Her english isn't that bad~! >.<"
And as for the story, it's simple but it's terribly true~
I hate dreaming and then waking up~
Good job~

[I Nina Kodaka I]

thank you