• LOVES HARD ENOUGH WITHOUT ADDED CONFLICT


    Love - to feel tender affection for somebody such as a close relative or friend, or for something such as a place, an ideal, or an animal. Or a passionate feeling of romantic desire and sexual attraction.

    tab Love, is an ideal word that men use whenever they want something and the four letter word women long to hear. To me love started at a young age, around 5 or 6 years old. When those easy laid back days of kindergarten still lingered. My first ever so called love was with a young boy, who was at the same age as me and in the same class. My innocent, naive mind thought we were going to be forever; of course I was wrong because love did not seem to manifest itself in this relationship like I had hoped at the time.
    tab The next couple year consisted with me trying hard to win over crushes but being unsuccessful. Until 6th grade did I ever feel that feeling of love once more. The boy I had a crush on was not ideal but I knew that for some reason I liked him. I was partnered up with him on multiple assignments, which mad my day instantly better. He seemed to be perfect to me. But then as I thought that maybe I had finally found the prefect guy for me, my friend told me something that broke my heart into millions of little pieces. She said that he had been hitting on her and asking her to go out with him since two weeks after school started. This news truly made me said but I did not give up hope, wishing that maybe it was some kind of fluke or something. So like any other confused girl I asked him straight out if he had feelings for my friend. At first he kept saying no and that she might be lying, but after that he no longer looked like prince charming in my eyes any more. Every time we had a project together I always saw him watching her, and anytime he seemed to want to get close to her so she would notice him, he would try to spend more time with me. Everything I saw completely broke my heart. My friends tried to warn me, to just stay away from him but I couldn’t help myself I thought I was in love. When he moved away in 8th grade life seemed to get so much more clear with out him there and again I was alone, not that I ever wasn’t.
    tab My next love began as a friend in 7th grade through 9th grade; we had many fun times together. At the end of our 9th grade year he asked me out, I never felt more liked in my life than at that moment, I was so happy. But time as a couple felt pressuring to me like he always wanted to have more every time he saw me and I could tell I was not ready. I had never broken up with someone before so I had no clue on how to do such an act. So when I did break up with him it was during our 15 minutes of break between 2nd and 3rd period. I told him that my mom was making me break up with him than ran out of the room. To this very day I feel regret for the way I broke up with him because after that we never talked again.
    tab After 10th grade my family moved to Montana where I felt completely helpless, like nobody could understand what I was going through. This made 11th grade very hard for me but near the end of the year a new kid transferred into the school as a senior but he had some junior classes. I thought he was amazing, he was nice and respected me, but I could feel inside he was not the one for me no matter how much I wished he would be. But this was also the year I meant another guy who I didn’t really get to know until my senior year. He felt like the one to me the one you wish would kiss you and hold your hand. I thought that maybe this guy might just be that one. So I got closer to him in hopes for us to bond and him to fall for me. And it worked, sort of we bonded great, we had so much in common that it was almost scary, but he did not fall for me at all, instead I fell deeply for him. I found out during our second semester that he had a girlfriend which practically made me cry with how much it hurt, but I didn’t, we were still friends and I would be supportive. His girlfriend was very jealous but who wouldn’t be. There were times when they were dating that I just wanted to rip her head off and kiss him, in hopes that he would realize that he really liked me. Than all of the sudden it just stopped. Not my feelings for him, Him and his girlfriend, they were never seen together and they no longer held hands down the hall. I though they had broken up but I could never be for sure. Now here I am now still waiting for him to realize that I existed and that I might be a little overweight and I might have glasses and a slight mental disability (if you would call ADD a mental disability). But I am still completely in love with him.