• People make mistakes all the time, right? Well, why is it that when ever I end up tripping and I make the wrong choice...Why is it that I'm never forgiven? I try so hard to understand what people say to me...But now when ever they talk to me about my choices...All I can here is the wind whisiling through my ears and the sight of their lips moving. I have been hurt so many times... I feel like I'm drowning. I reach out for someones hand and all I find is more darkness...I gasp for air and I choke from poisened air...Does god hate me?

    I have been stabbed in the back by all of my friends, I have been betrayed, my boyfriend cheated on me, My parents scream at me and tell me I'm worthless, that I'm nothing but trash...Why does anyone have to suffer from this kind of abuse?

    My mother and I use to talk almost every day...But that all ended months ago...I use to spend all of my time in the livingroom with her and we would laugh and talk about our day...but now I spend all of my time in my room...Crying...I lay on my bed everyday looking at the ceiling...And wondering what a rope around my neck would feel like, but I'm scared...I want to live but I want to die! My head is SO SCREWED UP! I feel like I'm running around in circles every day, not knowing what to do with myself anymore.

    My head is so scrambled up that I can never think straight anymore...I am a straight A student...But I only have those grades to make my family happy...So atleast when they see my grades they can smile and love me...Even if its just for a few minutes...It feels good.
    I have hurt so many people and that just adds to my pain...People say I'm upset about the choices I do because the people I hurt hate me...That is NOT the reason why I feel so terrible...I feel bad because I have hurt someone...I don't want anyone to hurt like I have been hurt...I hate the idea of being in pain...And always having a broken heart and just wishing that they could die...I...HATE...IT!

    I wan't to be NORMAL I want my friends to understand that I hurt and WHY I hurt...I want people to be able to look up to me instead of looking down at me all the time...I'm a burden to everyone and when ever I'm in trouble all of my friends turn away from me and I know what they're thinking "She can suffer on her own"!!

    WAKE UP!! I'M SUFFERING ALL READY! I HAVE CUTS ON MY WRIST!!! MY HEART HAS BEEN TORN APART!!! WAKE UP!! I don't wanna hurt anymore...I don't wanna sit on my bed writing about sadness, and misery, and suicide...I wanna be able to smile like I mean it! I wan't to be able to cry for other people...not for myself...I-just-wanna-be-different! I don't wanna live like this anymore!! I'm tired of this same life! I want it to be different, I want my life to be happy, I want my life to be worth living, I want to be able and laugh with happiness with my friends, I want to be able to hold the truth, and be able to stay strong when I need strenght the most.....I don't wanna cry anymore...
    I...JUST...WANNA...START....OVER!!!!!!!!!!!
    Doesn't everyone...When we make a mistake...We just wanna start over! If only we knew what would happen if we said "yes...or...no" If only we knew what the future held with our desicions...Sometimes...I wish my life were a videogame...When every I would make the wrong move...I can just turn off the game...and start a new one....I hate this...I hate my family...I hate my actions...but I love the fact...that I am strong enough to write this...That I'm strong enough to say everything...and not feel any regret...