• 11:30... PM. I begin to weep, more like scream. I yell inside and it hurts. I think "How, why, is this real"? I really don't understand what happened that day, but the more I think about it the more I see words and pictures and I start to cry. I beg for his response his words to twist into apology, I know it won't happen... not this love. I told my friends about him and they said it, the words you don't wanna hear "Watch, he'll say that he can't do this no more and leave you, just watch A.C" I laughed, and the aggony started to rise day by day. We talked morning to night, I never got rest and I was failing the most simplist class in my opinion... english. He mentioned alot of things, like our wedding and our child's name (not like I wanted one) and the type of house we would live in... "The one where you can see comets, the beach, and smell love in the air". I laughed and smiled, I felt it rising.

    Dec 19, 09, it's like yesterday as they say, he saw me talking to someone... a guy. He asked me whats going on I did as I could ,I introduced the guy to him... it reached up to my shoulders. Then he emailed me later telling me what was I doing around that dude, I laughed and told him it was an old friend. We had a argument after that, I told him maybe he should chill and stop smoking and maybe he would understand, (yelled some more) picked up a chair and threw it in frustration, it's up my neck now. Told me if I stoped acting like a b***h and protecting his a** maybe it wouldn't be so hard to continue this relationship... not this love. Hmm, it's on my ears now I yelled at him for acting like a jerk and not listining like a real boyfriend would, I told him that he acts like a baby and treats me like I'm just another. The aggony bursted I was done, but still felt like if I calmed down I wouldn't be so mad. He simply said it was over and left, I wrote him a five page letter at 9:15, and cried the rest of the night. I never heard of him scince, and will always love him no matter what.

    The next three weeks I talked to my friends and they all felt sad for me but went on with their daily lives. I ended with an B+ in english and an ach in my soul, my life was the hole and love is what went in. Sent hin up to 368 messages and e-mails, and no reply. That is love, stiving for something when really is anything. I had to go through happiness and sorrow to see it, feel it, like and hate it. Now I know that this love, this love was our love...the hearts love.