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My aunt and I have never seen exactly eye to eye. I'm chubby and average and she's a thin, chic divorcee with three kids. Understandably, our conversations are always limited, which is why it was odd that she took upon herself to inform me of the modern concept of marriage.
It was a blustery October night and she was driving me home from school. I was enjoying the awkward silence when she pounced on my mental tranquility. She said that there is no real reason for anyone to be married in modern society.
I nodded diplomatically, but I was inwardly taken aback. Not get married? Give up the girlish dream of veil and tiered cake? Never! All of the adults that I had ever known were either married, gay, or dead.
She went on to explain the origins of marriage. Humanity, she said, only ever went steady because the man needed to support the fragile woman. Now that woman has lost her image of fragility, she doesn't need to be married. She went on to explain that a couple can still be loyal to each other but the grand shindig with the white ribbons isn't mandatory. But I had tuned out again, as I so often did.
Why do people need romantic relationships at all? Why not live your life through work or school or friends? Can't you be happy that way? Is it purely the fear of solitude, of being alone when you die?
I had a friend in middle school who went through the ladies like Kleenex. He would always date the same kind of girl, not learning from his mistake. He would come to me in tears and tell me the story and I would always ask him, “Why do you let them do this to you?”
He would look at me with eyes red and black with teary eyeliner and say, “Because I don't want to die alone.” A thirteen-year-old boy, afraid of not being in a steady relationship when he died. A little dramatic in his case, but I think many people philosophize along the same lines.
Few people are actually with someone when they die. Cancer patients die in their sleep or in surgery or in chemo. Victims of accidents – if they don't die immediately – are with the paramedics when they die, strangers. Even if you die in the best way possible, on your deathbed with loved ones holding your hand, aren't you really dieing alone?
Back in the time of fans, drawing rooms, and escorts, you married for sex or money. He sees her across a crowded room and thinks, “Wow, I'd like a piece of that, but I'd better marry her first to bypass those pesky relatives.” Meanwhile, she sees him from across the room and thinks, “Isn't he a lord? Think of the stockings and fans I could afford then!”
These days, society tells us that sex is no longer a perk to marital bliss, but a part of every day life. Likewise, men and women don't need eachother's hand to gain wealth, but can become embarrassingly rich all on their own.
As for the love and companionship that candy companies so like to enforce, they are chemicals and euphemisms that lead to sex or obtaining money. Love is a mental state that is entered purely by choice and, under the right conditions, can be felt for anyone. As for companionship, I believe that you get more wear out of that word by associating it with your friends or a pet.
As we sped along on that blustery October night, I looked over to the driver's seat and saw that chic woman that I had known all my life. This woman that I had never really admired or gotten along with. For the first time in a long time, I agreed with her. I was proud of her for the mental bounds that she had taken and was ready to establish an entirely new mental image of her.
But then she asked when I would have a boyfriend, and the moment was over.
- by Earnest Arm-band |
- Non Fiction
- | Submitted on 07/24/2011 |
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- Title: The Lack of Love: A Positive
- Artist: Earnest Arm-band
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Description:
A modern perspective of love.
My Non-Fiction teacher was offended. - Date: 07/24/2011
- Tags: lack love positive bitter
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Comments (3 Comments)
- daiskeet - 10/09/2011
- s**t was awesome.
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- grin_LOL - 08/13/2011
- it makes sense
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- Cold_Hearted_Melody - 08/01/2011
- Nice.
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