• Had it not been for you
    I would be alive
    I wouldn’t feel like I was nothing,
    A nobody, a failure.

    Had it not been for you
    Would I have realized anything,
    Anything positive, eye-catching,
    Better for me?

    Would I have been in a restless battle
    With myself?
    Wanting your attention, needing your presence.
    Would I refer to myself
    As a hopeless romantic?

    Had it not been for you,
    You the one person, the one girl
    That meant so much to me.
    The one girl, I didn’t want to piss off.
    The girl whose opinion mattered most
    The girl whose personality was so uplifting
    Yet degrading at the same time to me.

    I won’t…no
    I can’t forget you,
    I can’t pull you from my head,
    I’ve tried really, I have.
    You, the one person, I should forget about
    And I can’t.

    Why?
    How?
    Is this wrong?
    Am I wrong?

    What’s wrong with me?
    Why couldn’t you give me a chance,
    Just once chance is all,
    All I ask for.

    No you couldn’t
    Could you?
    When I saw you with that a*****e,
    The both of you walking down the hall
    It disgusted me.

    I would treat you like gold,
    Be everything you could have ever wanted.
    But no…

    Am I not good enough?
    Is that it?
    Did I try too hard?
    Was I too nice?
    Not myself?

    For Christ’s sake you were with him
    Even if it was for a short while.
    You were still with him
    He’s like my family and all

    But I can’t
    I can’t help but to be jealous,
    To envy him.
    The guy who just doesn’t want to grow up.
    The guys who screws up so much
    And yet doesn’t try hard enough.

    I’ll leave you now
    Hopefully you realize in time
    How good I was to you.
    Can I leave?
    Maybe.

    Angry now
    Over something so childish
    Refusing to speak to me
    It’s easier this way.

    Am I an a** for saying that?
    To have the person you care for so much,
    Who I would do anything for,
    Hate you
    Makes it easier to move on?

    Part of me
    Wants to talk to you,
    To be there for you
    Whenever you need me
    To be your ’knight-in-shining-armor’
    To pay you back for saving me.

    Then there is the other half
    The half that wants to show you
    What you missed.
    To be the perfect
    If not a ’hell-of-a-boyfriend’.

    That part of me wants to reach,
    Reach out and find someone
    Someone who would take me,
    For who I am;
    Rather than for who I am not.
    Someone who would like how I treat them
    A person, a girl is all…

    Had it not been for you,
    I wouldn’t be
    Who I am
    Today.