stolen ripped out heart

• Artist: Whispering Crimson
• Description: i wrote this when i really missed a special person.
• Date: 08/04/2008
• Tags: wewillnevergettobtogether

help me make my world turn red

or take your death for me insted

and place your soul onto my hands

to feel the touch of different sands

take my hand and you will see

the many worlds a world can be

all those many sounds of lost love

not able to fly freely from above

take my thoughts and my cold heart

so we can be together never apart

there are times when i feel hate

come to me but its too late

Comments

[sporosofyadah]

There's a few part where you loose a sense to the rhythm but it's still good 4/5

[Sparkplugo]

me likely doesnt matter about the grammer ever read algernons flower's theres plenty of misspelled words yet its a big hit i give u a 4/5

[Megthatsme24]

Fix your grammer. Don't know how many times I've preached this. Even the best poetry in the world will be ignored if the author doesn't capatilize and show that they know how to write correctly. As for the poem itself its pretty good, but the last stanza doesn't wrap it all up nicely enough.