Can You Imagine

• Artist: La Chibet
• Description: This poem is about a innocent person being sent to death in a electric chair. The Insomniac is the one who did the wrong. The childhood is why they did it the cold December is also why. The broken peace treaty is there friend ship and the train is where it happened. The chained love bird is the innocent person who loved the one who did the wrong and is tied. The final fare well is well there good bye. Yay its spelled right.
• Date: 09/13/2008
• Tags: imagine

That arrow at aim
Only one face to put to shame

The good in the electric chair
A world that stops to only stare

No sun at day break
The insomniac who is all ways wide-awake

A broken peace treaty
A train without graffiti

A childhood not to remember
This cold and dark December

A chained love bird
A free jail bird

The final fare well
To be forever condemned in this hell

(And that is it this is one of the few ones i will be doing that actually have a rhyming pattern ^^=. and guess what i got to use my friends Franklin so it should be the right spelling and grammar. I'm so excited about that happening.)

Comments

[fizznomore]

Good on you for using the Franklin. This looks a lot better (though, did you mean 'good' in line three or something else?).
This has potential. Thematically, it's pretty scattered - work on pulling your images together into something cohesive.

All the best,
Fizzlesticks