• I once had a secretary,
    Her name was Lori.
    And hidden in her desk
    Was a bedtime story.

    I asked her to whom
    She read this tale.
    But she laughed in my face
    And called me a snail.

    To this I frowned,
    For it made no sense.
    I thought and I thought,
    And I really felt dense.

    As I turned around
    To return to my work,
    She accused me of flirting
    And called me a jerk.

    I have no book,
    She insisted to me.
    Get out of here, now.
    Shall I count to three?

    I left, of course,
    But I did have a scheme.
    I intended to catch her
    With her hands on the ream.

    One day I managed,
    But away she ran.
    She knocked down a guard,
    And a garbage can.

    He fell down the stairs
    To land on the ground.
    He hit himself hard,
    Though he made no sound.

    The lady, I fired
    At the end of the day,
    By sending her home
    With a year's worth of pay.