?????always and forever?????

• Artist: iiWaCKyO_o
• Description: So much for love , so much for true love,so much for....loving you
  What if i cry ? What if die ? What if .... i love you ??
  What would you do ? ...Would you...run a-way ????
  what would you have to say ????
  Will this work out ????
  Will you come through ???
  Will i always be with you ???
  Are we still gunna be friends...
  if this thing comes to an end ???
  If we can't i won't know what to do,
  except to continue loving you .....
  Will you still love me too ????
  
  please say " ALWAYS AND FOREVER"
• Date: 11/01/2008
• Tags: always forever

So much for love , so much for true love,so much for...loving you
What if i cry ? What if die ? What if .... i love you ??
What would you do ? ...Would you...run a-way ????
what would you have to say ????
Will this work out ????
Will you come through ???
Will i always be with you ???
Are we still gunna be friends...
if this thing comes to an end ???
If we can't i won't know what to do,
except to continue loving you .....:
Will you still love me too ????

please say " ALWAYS AND FOREVER" heart

Comments

[asta_orra]

Try to work in some imagery. Not every poem uses a lot of imagery, but most use something to distinguish the poem from everyday speech.

[asta_orra]

Before beginning I would like to remind you that you asked for my opinion awhile ago. I read this and it feels like a journal entry. For whatever reason, you don't capitalize I, use 4 ? and have spaces before them...lastly you feel the need to split away into two pieces. Perhaps this is to go with the i love you in the line above, but readers read away as two syllables anyway. As I mentioned for the last piece of yours I read, the sentiment behind this is nice, but there is little to no artistry

[BellaGirl24-7]

omg!! thats so sweet. thats basically wat i think wen i get into a relationship
i love it
~x~Bella~x~

[musicbyme]

i search your name and readi ng all your poems i love most of them because there great

[lola3666]

great!! ^_^

[myshatteredlittleheart]

very nice,i like it a lot but i think all the hearts pull your eyes away from the txt and so it makes it hard to read it.

[Marionette_Mentation]

it's good but the smileys and hearts are distracting while reading...