no title

• Artist: imdarkkangell
• Description: think of it wat u will but at least kno i like it and its my feelings
• Date: 11/28/2008
• Tags: dust pain

we're all dust in the wind emo
life wilting away and floatin in the
peaceful breeze
hung up on the ways of all mankind
ive studied and kept my mouth shut
now im setting my hypothosis straight
men dying in a foriegn land
fighting for a nation so mean
but we're all slowly dying a slow death
i pity the ones in pain and i regret my very breath
the very breath i breath
for without this damned breath
i wouldnt know pain
i would never b seen again emo

Comments

[obiyakasu o kage]

don't worry bout the capitalization these people are perfectionists and yes it is a poem, rhymes are bonds of chains linking us away from out true thoughts and beliefs

[Greenaide]

EEEEMMMOOO.

[B-B-B-BeanCup]

this looks like one big run on sentence. Try reading it without taking a breath, you'll know what I mean.

[IDK my BFF Voldie]

the emotes are out of place, and it would look better if you had stanzas instead of one block of text. Plus it'd be way better if you spelled things right/used correct capitalization & punctuation. It also seems to just... randomly be shoved together. You should try keeping everything the same subject or tie all the subjects together somehow.

[imdarkkangell]

thnx!!!

[We_ Are_ Paramore]

that reminds me of the olden days but i liked it

[Klaora]

As with most poems in this arena, it has potential, but PLEASE don't make English Majors cry with your horrible spelling, lack of capitalization, illogical placement of emoticons, and without a place to breathe due to no punctuation. Using the same word over and over isn't very creative. I also think it's weird how it starts rhyming towards the end rather than all the way through. Please do better next time.