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Have you ever had that feeling?
That feeling where you know you love someone?
Well, maybe it's love.
Maybe I'm really too young to really know how it feels...
Others will say I am too young.
But at least I have an idea.
Just an idea, but maybe, possibly it's known.
It bothers me more then an idea could.
Without you I feel as if I am nothing.
I feel that any smile I smile without you is fake.
That any laugh I laugh without you is forced.
And any shred of happiness that I feel without you is just a mask.
Every time you leave I feel the need to cry almost...
I feel sadness, feel the tears burning at my eyes even, but they never come out.
I never cry.
Because I just keep thinking that you'll come back and thats all I need to smile again.
Maybe I'm just being obsessive.
Maybe it's just a drug-like crush.
Infatuation.
Maybe it's not.
We're good friends though.
Great friends.
Such wonderful, perfect friends.
So how can I tell you that I feel something more?
What if you don't feel the same?
I never want this friendship to end.
Ever.
And so no matter how I want to tell you the truth, I know I can't.
It would ruin things, destroy things.
But yet it hurts to not tell you.
But it would hurt more to lose you.
Oh, but for every "I love you" we exchange, I wonder...
Do you mean something more? I'm looking to deep...
Do you realize I might mean something more....?
...Do you even want that? Probably not. But, I can't know.
Won't know.
I don't want to risk what we do have, even though maybe I want something more.
Does that make me selfish?
We have something wonderful....and yet I want more.
...I just don't know.
All I know is that without you I feel alone.
Helpless.
I need you.
If not in love then friendship, but I do need you there.
I couldn't live without you.
I truly know that I could not.
I need you, no matter what.
And maybe thats the only thing I do know.
For sure, for certain.
And so I guess I'll cling to it.
Cling to it cause it's something true, something certain, something not unknown.
But love, my feelings...
They are unknown, and because of that I shall lock them away.
Lock them away for they are false and uncertain, and I know that if I cling to them, I might break my heart more then it already is.
I just wish I could tell you.
But I know I can't.
So I won't.