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its save and warm, in here
in the stomach of my mommy
her heart beats sound inside my head,
and I know that I am loved.
You'll always be with me,
I can feel it in the veins
that corse through your body
and keep us both alive.
Here inside this warm cucoon
the world outside is far away
yet closer than i reallize.
With each passing day, the
world gets closer, closer still.
the moment of my birth draws near,
while i float in my bliss.
Soon, blissful innocence will leave me
as im thrown out into the world.
because with the first breath of life comes
the breath of our destruction.
but here, inside
no thought runs through my mind
no war no death no sorrow
no life no death no joy
just a constant, content existence.
Why do babies cry when their born?
It's their hearts crying out as the innocence is stripped away.
and their hearts crying out in joy at life.
so, when these eyes open and see your face
and my heart sings out
that is the day i give up my eternal sleep,
in exchange for life.
- by Dragons_rule_the_sky |
- Poetry And Lyrics
- | Submitted on 01/23/2009 |
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- Title: Blissful Slumber
- Artist: Dragons_rule_the_sky
- Description: this poem started out differently then went astray... the ending was kinda werid and sudden, im sorry, but my brain died and refused to think. please tell me what you think. good, bad, opinions help make a better writer.
- Date: 01/23/2009
- Tags: forever
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Comments (7 Comments)
- MikaOokami - 01/29/2009
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I REALLY like this! I think it's great, and all the writing flows!
The only thing you might wanna work on is your spelling, you've just got a couple misspelled words in there... - Report As Spam
- adi3000 - 01/29/2009
- perfect made me think of alot of things
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- aL ycious - 01/28/2009
- This feels less like a poem to me, and more like a descriptive narrative. Cut out the cheesy "no death, no war, breath of our destruction" stuff, and this could be decent. One of the most important things a writer can do to improve their work ,is to find an unexpected and subtle way to express their ideas.
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- Starlight_Miss - 01/27/2009
- Loved it! *adds as favorite* 5/5! I would give a 10 if it was possible. Please rate back.
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- hinata hyuga fan-me - 01/26/2009
- truly wonderful, tho sum spelling errors or misuse of words hold u back by a single inch, we know what u meant, and i believe that u hav a gift. writing such things, u r a writer of truth and understanding. keep writing ur stories
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- hinata hyuga fan-me - 01/26/2009
- lol, i havent red it yet, but what u say in the summary makes me wonder what kind of writer u r. dont just say, "make me a better writer", find ur own thots, comment on it urself and we'll reed it and tell u the truth. *slightly slants head and gives a gentle smile*
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- BASS HUNTA - 01/23/2009
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...this is the most interesting point-of-view
i like this concept:: its like a second take on being born again or just being born for the first time - Report As Spam