The Broken Promise

• Artist: Akana Nasaga
• Description: just something I made up. I've never been kissed heck i don't even have a bf FYI. If there are any spelling mistakes please tell me. Thank you
• Date: 03/04/2009
• Tags: broken promise

The rain is falling
My hope is failing.
You promised me
That you'd be here
On this day,
The last sun ray
Fell apon the Earth.....

Yet you broke it
So now I throw a silent fit.
I trusted you with
A treasure
Beyond measure.

You said we'd die
On the same day
You promised
As we kissed,

But then you died
Breaking the promise by
Leaving me alive....

The sweet rain
Sings a calming song.
As I sit by your grave
Wishing I could be with you.

My heart aches over
Our broken promise,
And the fact the
Sun will never shine
Without your smiling face
In my sight. Your warm arms
Around my waist.....

How I ache to join
You.............

Comments

[Senny Paine]

You spell Died wrong, and join. I'd suggest add punctuation, that shows the reader how to read it. I automatically try to read poems in iambic, but you have no solid line form to do that with. That's okay not to have a line form, its just punctuation is needed everywhere; that way we don't get confused when reading. Periods show when your done with a thought, use them?

[Larka-love]

I thought it was beautiful I give it a 20/5 hehehehe