Locked Emotions

• Artist: Lynemrac
• Description: I wrote this because my mother wouldn't allow me to show my miserable face in front of everyone. I know this isn't really good because I'm only 11. But if you're thinking how, well I'm suffering from depression. Well anyways please point out any mistakes I made.
  Also my first time submitting something like this. ^_^;;
  
  Edit - Ugh I just realized this makes no sense at all. ;_;
• Date: 07/09/2009
• Tags: locked emotions

You locked my emotions in
and I drowned deep into the ocean of despair.

I was drowning,
struggling to swim.
Trying to breathe the cool water.

I gripped the coast
and pulled myself back up.

You pushed me back down.
The waves dragged me further,
deeper and deeper.

You're words kept me drowning.
Further into sadness.
Further into fear.

I was drowning.
I'm suffocating now.

I can't breathe,
the air has ran out.
I'm unable to move,

and I drowned deep into the ocean of despair.
You locked my emotions in.

Comments

[SilvertongueSagittarius]

as for the poem, it's a bit simple. Try using some higher level vocabulary. Check out my stuff. I tend to use a lot of high vocab in my writing

[SilvertongueSagittarius]

ugh... Im tired of saying this. If you're 11, you arent depressed. wait till you're 18. You'll find out that these are the happiest years you'll ever live

[DoodIed]

nicee carmen :]
i luv it~

[s u n n y _ l o t u s]

Awww..don't be sad. sad
I like your poem! I can see the idea of it and it does make sense. I didn't quite get the part when you said 'I was drowning I'm suffocating now'. That made be kind of confused, but anyways, good job! ^^

[Akira lyn]

dont be down life has its bumps in the road but there is always a silver lining waiting to shine upon you

[Lost Music Note]

Hmmm it's interesting...