My Quiet Cry For Help

• Artist: Hakuo The White Phoenix
• Description: Not my normal stuff I think and not my best work either but it is what it is.
  Maybe a little odd at first but i had hoped originally to sing it under different circumstances.
  I'd like comments on this one from as many as possible.
• Date: 08/14/2009
• Tags: quiet help

This guitar
This band
This life
I can't stand
I wanna leave
But I know I can't
I wanna stop
But I start again
Cause my mind is full of doubt
I never seem to like myself
This is why I try to shout
My quiet cry
My cry for help
So can you hear me
Yelling out my misery
So can you see me
Crying out blissfully
I'm just so ******** up
I can't tell up from down
I'm just so ******** up
I don't wanna turn back around
And my life won't slow to adjust
And I won't stay quiet
I wanna scream it to the clouds
My quiet cry
My cry for help
His and her life
They're all so perfect
Why am I such a reject
I just don't like to impress
It just leaves me with regrets
That I don't want to have to live with
I'm not talking to myself
I'm still trying to yell
My quiet cry
My cry for help
I don't want only this
I want more than this life can give
And I think I'm going insane
When they try to make
Me take their word
When they tell what I deserve
Now I've tried to tell you how I've felt
But you haven't listened when I tried to shout
My quiet cry my cry for help.

Comments

[happy is skull]

i love it

[ElectricxChaos]

I agree with Hisa-Ai-.. make it stanzas rather than phrases:] i can imagine singing it, myself. its great!

[Hisa-Ai]

I like it, really, I do.
Here's my suggestion, though: Instead of having one huge stanza, break it down into smaller stanzas. I think it'll make it look better and less intimidating for those who don't like to read big or long poems.
Other than that, though, it was awesome. I really liked it.