"Disquieting Comprehension"

• Artist: ChaBooya
• Description: An old poem I had had written. DEATH (Something we all have to face)
  Tell me what you guys think. :))
• Date: 08/17/2009
• Tags: disquieting comprehension

When it's life that really fears me,
It's death that really kills me,
It's life thats the enemy,
Death is just an excuse to bury,

It's people enduring these tears,
Estrangement from the people they once knew,
Estuary is where I'll meet you my dear,
Disquieting noises in the head upon you,

Stuck in this diverse mind,
Wishing the present could rewind,
These sentiments that is formidable,
As The Reaper meets once again at the table,

Lives erode in a blink of an eye,
Esoteric they just sigh,
Death is easy in accessibility,
Not understanding is the only ability,

It happens so appallingly,
Everything after comes so slowly,
Whats the real attainment,
It only makes us rather despondent,

Abstract wonders and thoughts,
As the body decays and rotes,
Nothing here is exquisite,
"R.I.P.," we say taking a visit,


Death is not an assumption,
Nobody waits in apprehension,
Around the coffin an array,
Only in the memories we could stay.


11:57 A.M. 4-6-08
Written By: JCG

Comments

[UC Poika]

I have often found with longer poems that what you cut is more important towards making it work than what you leave in. Unlike the prof I think a simile is like something not a statement about the thing but a statement about what it is like, same thing with meandering poems, why to they meander should be asked rather than why arn't they like poems I like. I thought it was fun exploring death with you as I read this poem. By the way though a poetic expert is ridiculous by nature.

[ProfessorKC]

It's about death alright and walks along like a drunk dancing throuugh street cones. You keep starting different thoughts and then stopping and jumping to others. Try keeping one all the way through your poem and not trying to show an expansive vocabulary or how many good phrases you can use in a poem but one good long thought and feeling and make one good contiguously poem out of it.

[Yan Qi]

Not bad. 4/5 ^-^