-
Everything
You looked into her beautiful brown eyes, admiring her beauty.
I stood off into the far corner watching you trace her lip gently with your finger.
I felt a single tear fall from my eye. You kissed her gently then grabbed her hand and played
with her fingers. Another hot tear felt from my eye as i watched in jelousy. What does she have that i don't? Looks?
Style?
Hair?
Eyes?
Everything...
- by XxGothicElliexX |
- Poetry And Lyrics
- | Submitted on 09/12/2009 |
- Skip
![](https://graphics.gaiaonline.com/images/arena-images/ic_paper_corner_32x32.gif)
- Title: Everything...
- Artist: XxGothicElliexX
- Description: Everything
- Date: 09/12/2009
- Tags: everything
- Report Post
Comments (2 Comments)
- princess amy iz da name - 09/19/2009
- wow!!! your a good writer
- Report As Spam
- Platypi Parasol - 09/12/2009
-
This is so incredibly cliche, I worry.
Be different! Try setting a similar idea but with a different type of scenario! Use metaphors! Use juxtapositioning!
This isn't even a poem. It has no defined nor set rhythm and you spelled things incorrectly all over the place. Plus, you need to capitalize "I." - Report As Spam