Loveless

• Artist: Vulcan Enterprise
• Description: A girl is sitting alone just after the sun set.
  She is complaining about not being in love
  And feels that everything mocks her because
  Of it. She then comes to the conclusion that
  She will never be in love, and then thinks
  That she will never truly live life cause of it.
• Date: 10/09/2009
• Tags: loveless

Withering nights diminish my lost thoughts,
And I lose all my will to take a breath.
The moon mocks in all the pain it has brought,
And the sun makes me appreciate death.
Stars shine with love, and for that I despise,
And now they pierce my empty heart with pride.
Unshed tears rain down from my loveless eyes.
They drown my hope of love for that has died.
Love is in the air and it makes me sick,
And choke in the invisible poison.
My soul was not made to be the one pick,
And my heart, though strong was not made to win.

My true love is that which is not to give.
My heart truly has not begun to live.

Comments

[ThisIsMyDeathbed_x]

I love it biggrin
Put it this way - the girl IS loved, because i love HER xd

Anyways, yes. Awesome. YOu've got real real potential, y'know. Perhaps lean a little off the rhyme??? In my experience, rhyming seems to give work a limited vocabularly , and it also tends to make things sound very immature. I dont think this is thought. It's really wow. But just watch what you rhyme, m'kay?? Take my work for example, i barely EVER rhyme anything. MAybe you could read/rate my work sometime??? smile 5/5