• You leave. He leaves. I try to find me.
    I get lost yet again.
    Can't find a away out.
    You're gone.
    Not here
    NEVER were.

    Why did I think it could be?

    My brother gone. Not here. Far away. My best friend.
    What am I supposed to do?


    I played. I lost. New Game.
    New Game I say! This one was lost long ago.

    Head spins. Can't let go... never had you to begin.
    Why am I doing this?

    It seems the cards have turned. Yet again.
    He wanted this. I want that.
    Why did I have to do this?

    You're gone. Not here. My other best friend.
    Move around.
    Move again.
    I thought you would be where I could find you.
    Wrong again.

    A new year to inspire change.
    ******** it.
    It's a downward spiral before it begins.

    You're in there. I am out here.
    Alone. Miserable and hated.
    You're in there. Dead inside from all that left you behind.

    A war that was doomed from the beginning.
    Neither side to win.
    Both a fight to the very end... of life we wanted different.

    Why did I think anything else?

    My naivety; that of a small child.
    Stupid, dumb, and incompetent.
    So pathatically silly of me.

    She moves. She loves. She's gone.
    No more life I get to spend with her.
    My best friend.
    A beautiful soul who found her ending.

    He grows. He learns. He is happy.
    Brother, my friend, I love you.
    Be safe in your travles and all that you do.
    Without you, I am just another child.
    Not a sister. Just a broken daughter.

    You. Something magnificent.
    Brave and admirable.
    I dreamed of something so divine.
    I wished, I hoped, I believed.
    However, I'll have to rethink the terms and be more specific.
    A soul I found. I wished I knew. A soul I'd have to live without.
    A being that couldn't let go.
    A man, a breed, that died long ago.

    Myself. Change. I need it.
    I want it.
    I'll be lost forever.
    Gone. Broken. Shattered.
    Or perhaps someone will end it for me.

    The down falls before it arrives.