• dearest mother,

    i was a child that once brought pain,
    you had to scream my name again and again,
    i fought so hard for your attention,
    but not always with good intentions,
    you had only so much love to give,
    i wanted some myself,
    to have my sisters be happy and not me,
    i felt that i was not family,
    i was treated like a house pet,
    the kind you could hit,
    i was left alone with only dolls to play with,
    they were my friends for some time,
    when i made a real friend she was taken from me,
    by matters wich i wont discus because it is privite,
    writing this wont change a thing but it will make me fell better,
    wasting my time waiting for a cold hearted mothers love,
    i grew cold myself,
    i could no longer find what love was,
    or how it felt to have it,
    the leasons of your past tought me well enough,
    for reasons untold you hated me,
    when i become a mother the past may sting a bit,
    then ill remember that i stood up against the cold,
    i found true love and it is bold,
    it has guided me this far,
    i shall go farther,
    i will not fear to love a child that has caused me pain,
    but imbrace my child the way i wished you would,
    my family will live on but yours will fall away,
    would you love me now knowing i have surpassed you,
    or will you hate me more for finding what you could not,
    watching you suffer i sink into the backround,
    now you know my feelings,
    i should not be back,
    no matter if you scream my name,
    over and over again.