• I haunt the lands we loved in
    hoping to catch a glimpse of my own ghost
    Because, despite everything,
    what hurts the most is the happiness
    the good times are tattooed in my soft tissues
    In the corner of my eye, you sit in your throne beside me
    with the fading echo of your laughter
    sending the atmosphere into shock
    I stalk your static reflection, always a step behind
    close enough to see you, but keep the future blurred
    I guess that's the upside to being nearsighted
    My hands now lie where yours did
    I read the same pages, and order the same drinks
    I even chew on the straw like you, just to get closer
    Does it seem like Im not over you?
    Well, I am.
    I'm so over you, Im on top of you
    Dammit, I was fine for a while!
    But you snuck back into my vision
    and my only warning was I song I barely knew yet
    So now Im left to haunt the lands we loved in
    and my walls cave in
    Alarms screech, warning of a nuclear meltdown
    or just another mental breakdown
    I can see you again
    in a time when our tantrums were catastrophic
    and put ther fear of God into our ancestors
    So I guess our love was of biblical proportions
    Which could explain why a blonde specter sits across the room
    staring into my eyes with her vacant baby-blues
    mouthing "I love you" over and over
    like someone put the video on repeat
    it's all I can see through a veil of deciept
    I wish I'd gotten a receipt for my memories
    So I could give 'em back
    and trade them in for comatose recollections
    I offered you protection
    but you quickly proved that my shields were misplaced
    and I should've protected myself
    but I can't bare the thought of not seeing you everyday
    even if you're no longer there
    So I haunt the lands we loved in
    It's been said that love will pull you out of a suicidal mindset
    and kill the appeal of narcotics
    but our love IS narcotic... and neurotic
    downright ******** psychotic sometimes
    I only need a little indulgance
    just a quick bump of you
    I look back to days of lighting cigarettes with sparklers
    and I wonder if it was worth it
    because if it was really all perfect,
    than maybe I just had one too many cupcakes
    and developed diabetes
    Just so our combined sugar rush could thrust us
    into someplace less confusing
    You know, I still drive by the schoolyard where you sent me love letters
    and I can smell the perfume of the girl you sent to deliver them
    Is this real to you yet?
    I still have dreams of you and I having lived together happily
    Like your mother never found your damn diary
    and never discovered our Juliet-Romeo romance
    Like I never took my first line on a mirror
    Like I never took a pen to paper and met my savior
    and like I was never reborn into poetry
    I grip my four-dollar pen as tightly as I held your wrists
    when I assured you of my love
    I look past the bleach and eyeliner to see your inner victim
    and she still loves me
    She tells me so everyday in bookstores
    and parkinglots, and schoolyards, and car windows
    She tells me Monday through Friday on the stairway
    without the slightest provocation
    She is the only reminder that everything we had was real
    So can you blame me?
    When I haunt the lands we loved in
    I didnt give up on you then,
    but it seems fate wanted us to brood on seperation
    because each Percocet only brought me closer to you
    I can count your teeth from here
    and behind them stirs a voice that masks fear
    because every tear is a bullet when you're here
    I saw a Marlboro in an ashtray
    and I thought I glimpsed your lipstick around the filter
    but I blinked and you'd left me again
    just a golden apparition that eats at my aspirations
    but I dont blame you...
    I just dont know how to say what Im thinking anymore
    I ran out of words a page and a half ago
    So maybe I'll just say it blatently:
    You are still my right hand
    You are still more to me than you ever thought you were
    and I know I want you
    but I still dont know what I need
    so until then
    I haunt the lands we loved in