Memories of Death

• Artist: Mini Haji
• Description: People who's past was harsh, don't get up as easily and take time to heal.
  
• Date: 06/01/2010
• Tags: memories death healing

I hate to see,
Those hopeless days,
Strugling and suffering,
Under that heavy burden,
But now it's over,
And close to death.

Comments

[Mini Haji]

I know that this is a terribly late comment, but I agree with alice laved him, and this poem has nothing to do with healing. This poem shows the harsh side and giving up side. I know the description is wrong, so I'll change it later.

[bram toker]

A short poem doesn't necessarily mean a lack of substance. To me, it seems like this poem is intentionally vague; designed to convey an broad idea rather than a specific situation.

[Idiosyncratic Quirk]

This poem lacks substance. You totally should have iterated your description into your poem more. It's just missing everything that would make a poem pop.
I want to feel the beads of sweat rolling down a farmer's forehead. I want to feel weak WITH HIM. I want KNOW what was so harsh. Even if you are vague about it. Because the words "heavy burden" and "close to death" really don't tell me anything about healing. In fact, it sounds like surrender to one's struggle.