A broken heart

• Artist: Shadow Wolf Zero
• Description: well um...just a poem I wrote it's the 2nd one to be submitted
  
  anyways criticism welcome, try not to be too harsh :)
  
  note: the original work was supposed to have the first verse like this
  
  A broken heart
  left in the rain
  it's torn apart
  feeling the pain
  
  if you read the second verse you'll find out why it's changed
  (2nd verse first line and with 1st verse 4th line) note: this is now old info, it has been revised now :P
  
  
• Date: 10/22/2010
• Tags: broken heart

A Broken Heart

A broken heart
left in the rain
it's torn apart
straining the pain

Too cold to feel
numb beyond belief
trying to heal
looking for relief

Nothing to be shown
the beats start to slow
as it turns to stone
there's no love to show

Someone walks by
she picks up the heart
the heart so shy
not falling apart

no longer needing to heal
no longer to cold to feel
no longer torn apart
An umbrella shields the heart

Comments

[Livertas]

The meter is a bit odd. 3/5

[canDy-piNk19]

Awww! its so beautiful! so full of... emotion!
definitely 5 stars~ ^ ^