• T'was the night before Christmas,
    And all through the house,
    Everybody felt shitty,
    Even the mouse.
    Mom at the whorehouse,
    And dad smoking grass,
    I'd just settled down,
    For a nice piece of a**.
    When out on the lawn,
    I heard such an clatter,
    I sprung from my piece,
    To see what was the matter.
    Then out on the law,
    I saw a big d**k,
    I knew in a moment,
    It must be Saint Nick.
    He came down the chimney,
    Like a bat out of hell,
    I knew in a moment,
    The ******** had fell.
    He filled all our stockings,
    With pretzels and beer,
    And a big rubber d**k,
    For my brother tyhe queer.
    He rose up the chimney,
    With a thunderous fart,
    The son of a b***h,
    Blew the chimney apart.
    He swore and he cursed,
    As he rode out of sight,
    Piss on you all,
    And have a hell of a night!