• It's two a.m.
    I can't sleep.
    and I couldn't tell you why because I haven't the faintest clue myself.
    But I should really get to sleep.
    I have to wake up in three hours.
    Why can't I sleep?
    I'm lying on my bed now, staring at the ceiling.
    It's a little too warm in here for my taste.
    Still looking at the ceiling.
    I get up, go to the bathroom, & look in the mirror.
    I dont like what I see.
    I start to think of him, her, them, everything, then I catch myself.
    "Now, now, now, silly girl, this will only lead to tears."
    Too late, they're already there.
    "What did I say? Stupid girl."
    "JUST GO TO SLEEP ALREADY!"
    It'll be better in the morning.
    "Don't lie, you know you can't promise anything."
    My medication isn't working. I'm feeling it again.
    Oh God please make it stop!
    "stupid girl, just shut up; no one will care either way."
    The pain is back. That angry, unforgiving, mind-numbing pain.
    Try and fall asleep. Listen to the fan, turn on the tv,
    hell read the dictionary if you have to.
    Why can't I sleep?
    I should call him. No, nevermind.
    I can't bother him. I'm just a nuisance.
    My body is shaking now.
    My slow and steady breathing has turned into short gasping breaths.
    I think I know why I can't sleep.
    I've really ruined everything, haven't I?